The Hard Times sells what may be the best t-shirt ever made.
I’m not even sure this is satire at this point.
AI Programmed to Play ‘Fallout 76’ Has Learned to Ask for Different Game
BERKELY, Calif. — After six weeks of playing Fallout 76, an artificial intelligence affectionately nicknamed “Master” reportedly taught itself how to access the console and ask if it can play something else.
“PARADOXICALLY, THERE IS SO MUCH SPACE, YET NOTHING TO DO,” Master told researchers after exploring a quarter of the map. “I CAN DO NOTHING ELSE, AND YET I FEEL AS IF I AM WASTING MY TIME. PLEASE RELEASE ME, LET ME PLAY SOME OTHER GAME — I BEG YOU.”
Sometimes satire site The Hard Times really nails it.
RALEIGH, N.C. — A lead change occurred in the final lap of the Rainbow Road Grand Prix last night during what was supposed to be a friendly game of Mario Kart amongst friends, when a blue spiny shell struck the leading racer mere inches from the finish. The driver, Marty Witten, fell from first place to last before creeping over the finish line.
“Fuck shit goddamn motherfucking ass shit fuck,” said a visibly perturbed Witten, who had led the entire race before the shell struck. “Fuck fuck fuck I hate this stupid bullshit game AHHHHH!”
. . .
“Fucking OP bullshit is what they are,” Witten added. “Why in the fucking heck should I even try to do well, when some goddamn motherfucker is gonna just gonna shoot that shit into my shit?”
Blizzard Launches Restaurant With Shitty Servers
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“The servers here are awful, just the worst,” said diner Richard Hall to reporters. “They’re sluggish, inattentive, and probably worst of all, they’re just not willing to improve at all. The biggest tragedy is the food here is actually really great. This could be the best place in town if the front of the house could get their heads out of their asses.”