Laura Doyle Is Back With ‘The Surrendered Single’

Laura Doyle, author of the much touted/criticized book The Surrendered Wife, is back with a follow-up directed at unmarried women, The Surrendered Single. Doyle’s advice is predictable — if the way to have a happy marriage is through female passivity, then the way to find the man of your dreams is to be passive during dating.

If Doyle wanted to be honest about her advice, she would title her books The Surrendered Child, since she is essentially arguing that women assume a childlike posture toward women including going so far as to hide their true personalities in order to be more engaging and pleasing to men.

Doyle’s advises women that they should never ask men out. If they are asked out by a man, they should accept even if they do not find their suitor attractive or interesting. Smile at every man they meet, where form-fitting clothes, and keep your mouth shut on dates.

Katha Pollitt hit the nail on the head when she told The Daily Telegraph (London),

A woman who follows this advice will get the man she deserves. Being false and submissive will please only a man who wants someone false and submissive. And what happens when the truth comes out? The man is going to be very angry and bewildered.

I am still trying to figure out what sort of man wants to date Doyle’s submissive single and what sort of woman could follow this advice. According to Doyle,

… control is the enemy of intimacy. When we surrender control of who pursues us and how he does it, we clear the way for the relationship we always wanted.

But there’s no relationship at all here since Doyle’s advice boils down to telling women that they should always present themselves as little more than sycophants to their boyfriends and/or husbands.

Source:

The way to keep a man’s heart — keep quiet. Laurel Ives, The Daily Telegraph (London), April 30, 2002.

Leave a Reply