The Onion: Fully Leveled-Up Video Game Character Marvels At How Far He’s Come

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WINDHELM, SKYRIM—Having completely filled out his skill tree, obtained every unique item, and successfully completed each quest and subquest within the expansive virtual world of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, fully leveled-up video game character Dagmar Brightbane this week fondly reflected on his substantial accomplishments within the fantasy realm, marveling at just how far he’s come.

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