ACLU Defends Satan

It’s the sort of story the nuttier Christian fundamentalists are going to have a field day with — the American Civil Liberties Union is threatening a federal lawsuit against a Florida town that has posted signs forbidding Satan to enter.

The signs read,

Be it known from this day forward that Satan, ruler of darkness, giver of evil, destroyer of what is good and just, is not now, nor ever again will be, a part of this town of Inglis. Satan is hereby declared powerless, no longer ruling over, nor influencing, our citizens.

I just want to know how the ACLU plans to establish standing. Are they going to go into court and complain that Satan is feeling unfairly discriminated against? If Satan is in the United States, is he even here legally? Will the INS try to pick up Satan before he can testify in his defense?

The other thing I’ve been curious about is whether or not this ban applies to Satan’s minions. Maybe she’s got a point about Satan, but if she’s stopping all Satanic forces isn’t that supernatural profiling? (BTW, how come webloggers never have minions? I need to get me some minions!)

I love the ACLU — heck I’d even donate to them if they were willing to defend my right to own fully automatic weapons without a license — but sometimes you have to just let some nutbags be nutbags.

(BTW, I hereby declare that all claims that the tooth fairy may have over my dentition are hereby null and void. If I hear any flapping of wings near my pillow, I’m a comin’ out blastin!)

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