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    <div><span class='large'>THE</span></div>
    <div class='c000'><span class='xlarge'>ART OF KISSING.</span></div>
    <div class='c002'>CURIOUSLY, HISTORICALLY,</div>
    <div>HUMOROUSLY, POETICALLY</div>
    <div>CONSIDERED.</div>
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    <div><span class='small'>(<span class='sc'>Copyright, 1902, by Will Rossiter.</span>)</span></div>
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<div class='nf-center-c1'>
  <div class='nf-center'>
    <div><span class='small'>NEW YORK:</span></div>
    <div>J. S. OGILVIE PUBLISHING COMPANY,</div>
    <div><span class='sc'>57 Rose Street</span>.</div>
  </div>
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</div>
<div>
  <h1 class='c004'>THE<br /> <br />ART OF KISSING.</h1>
</div>
<div class='chapter'>
  <h2 class='c005'>I.</h2>
</div>

<p class='c006'><span class='sc'>Origin of kissing; the Scandinavian tradition;
an old poet’s idea—Kissing in
ancient Rome, and among the Jews
and early Christians—Biblical kissing—Religious
significance—Kissing
in early England—Ancient kissing
customs as described by Erasmus—The
puritanical views of John Bunyan—How
Adam kissed Eve—A kiss defined:
By the dictionary, Shakespeare,
Robert Herrick, Sidney, Coleridge—Comical
and short descriptions—A
grammar of kissing—The scientific
reason why kisses are pleasant.</span></p>

<p class='c007'>Of kissing it has been quaintly said that
nature was its author and it began with the
first courtship. The Scandinavian tradition
was that kissing was an exotic introduced
into England by Rowena, the beautiful
daughter of Hengist, the Saxon. At a
banquet given by the British monarch in
honor of his allies the princess, after pressing
the brimming beaker to her lips, saluted
the astonished and delighted Vortigern with
a little kiss, after the manner of her own
people.</p>

<p class='c008'>For a long time it was an act of religion
in ancient Rome and among the Romans
the sacredness of the kiss was inviolable.
At length it was degraded into a current
form of salutation.</p>

<p class='c008'>The kiss was, in process of time, used
generally as a form of salutation in Rome
where men testified their regard and the
warmth of their welcome for each other
chiefly by the number of their kisses. There
was a curious law among the Romans made
by Constantine; that, if a man had kissed
his betrothed she gained thereby the half
of his effects should he die before the celebration
of the marriage; and should the
lady herself die, under the same circumstances,
her heirs or nearest to kin would
take the half due her, a kiss among the ancients
being the sign of plighted faith.</p>

<p class='c008'>Among the Jews, kissing was a customary
mode of salutation as we may judge from
the circumstance of Judas approaching his
Master with a kiss. The Rabbis did not
permit more than three kinds of kisses, the
kiss of reverence, of reception and dismissal.
Kissing in many religions has
played a part as a mark of adoration or veneration.
In Hosea xiii-2, speaking of
idolatry, we find the sentence “Let the
men that sacrifice kiss the calves.” Again,
the discontented prophet is told that even
in idolatrous Israel are seven thousand
knees which have not bowed to Baal, “and
every mouth which hath not kissed him.”
The Mohammedans, on their pious pilgrimage
to Mecca, kiss the sacred black stone
and the four corners of the Kaaba. The
Roman Catholic priest kisses the aspergillum,
and Palm Sunday the palm.</p>

<p class='c008'>In the works of St. Augustine we find an
account of four kinds of kissing; the first,
the kiss of reconciliation which was given
between enemies wishing to become friends;
the second, the kiss of peace which Christians
exchanged in church in the time of
the celebration of the holy eucharist. The
third, the kiss of love which loving souls
gave to one another and to those whom
they showed hospitality. St. Peter and St.
Paul used to finish their letters by saying,
“salute one another with a holy kiss.” In
the early church kissing seems to have
been a common form of greeting, irrespective
of age, sex, or social condition, and, in
some it seems to have created a jealous
feeling.</p>

<p class='c008'>One heathen writer speaks of how annoying
it must be to a heathen husband to see
his wife exchanging kisses with the Christian
brethren. Origen, one of the early
Christian writers, says that the kisses must
be “holy.” He may have had occasion to
give this reminder for mention is made by
another writer of kisses so loud that they
resounded through the churches and occasioned
foul suspicions and evil reports.</p>

<p class='c008'>In the Bible there are eight kinds of kisses
mentioned:</p>

<p class='c008'><i>Salutation.</i>—David fell on his face to the
ground, and bowed himself three times;
and they [David and Jonathan] kissed one
another, and wept one with another, until
David exceeded. I. Samuel xx, 41. Greet
all the brethren with a holy kiss. I.
Thess. v, 26. Salute one another with a
holy kiss. Romans xvi, 16. See also Ex.
xviii, 7; I. Cor. xvi, 20; I. Pet. v, 14.</p>

<p class='c008'><i>Valediction.</i>—The Lord grant you that ye
may find rest, each of you in the house of
her husband [Naomi to her daughter-in-law.]
Then she kissed them; and they lifted
up their voice, and wept. Ruth i, 9.</p>

<p class='c008'><i>Reconciliation.</i>—So Joab came to the
king, and told him; and when he had
called for Absalom, he came to the king,
and bowed himself on his face to the ground
before the king; and the king kissed Absalom.
II. Samuel xiv, 33.</p>

<p class='c008'><i>Subjection.</i>—Kiss the Son, lest he be angry,
and ye perish from the way, when his
wrath is kindled but a little. Psalm ii, 12.</p>

<p class='c008'><i>Adoration.</i>—All the knees which have not
bowed unto Baal, and every mouth which
hath not kissed him. I. Kings xix, 18. [See
also Hosea xiii, 2.] And stood at his feet
behind him weeping, and began to wash his
feet with tears, and did wipe them with the
hairs of her head, and kissed his feet, and
anointed them with ointment. Luke vii, 38.</p>

<p class='c008'><i>Approbation.</i>—Every man shall kiss his lips
that giveth a right answer. Prov. xxiv, 26.</p>

<p class='c008'><i>Treachery.</i>—Now he that betrayed him
gave them a sign, saying Whomsoever I
shall kiss, that same is he; hold him
fast, and forthwith he came to Jesus, and
said, Hail, Master; and kissed him. Matt.
xxvi, 48, 49. The kisses of an enemy are
deceitful. Prov. xxvii, 6. [See also Prov.
vii, 13.]</p>

<p class='c008'><i>Affection.</i>—When Laban heard the tidings
of Jacob, his sister’s son, he ran to meet
him, and embraced him, and kissed him,
and brought him to his house. Gen. xxix,
13. Moreover he [Joseph] kissed all his
brethren, and wept upon them. Gen. xlv,
15. And Joseph fell upon his father’s face,
and wept upon him, and kissed him. Gen.
l, 1. [See also Gen. xxxi, 55; xxxiii, 4; xlviii,
10; Exod. iv, 27; Luke xv, 20; Acts xx, 37.]</p>

<p class='c008'>Among the poets we will select Johannus
Secundus (Johannes Everard) to sing to the
origin of kisses:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>When young Ascanius, by Queen of Love,</div>
      <div class='line'>Was wafted to Cythera’s lofty grove,</div>
      <div class='line'>The slumbering boy upon a couch she laid,</div>
      <div class='line'>A fragrant couch, of new-blown violets made,</div>
      <div class='line'>The blissful bower with shadowing roses crowned,</div>
      <div class='line'>And balmy-breathing airs diffused around.</div>
    </div>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>Soon as she watched, through all her glowing soul,</div>
      <div class='line'>Imprisoned thoughts of lost Adonis stole.</div>
      <div class='line'>How oft, as memory hallowed all his charms,</div>
      <div class='line'>She longed to clasp the sleeper in her arms!</div>
      <div class='line'>How oft she laid admiring every grace,</div>
      <div class='line'>“Such was Adonis! such his lovely face!”</div>
    </div>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>But, fearing lest this fond excess of joy</div>
      <div class='line'>Might break the slumber of the beauteous boy,</div>
      <div class='line'>On every rose-bud that around him blowed,</div>
      <div class='line'>A thousand nectared kisses she bestowed;</div>
      <div class='line'>And straight each opening bud, which late was white,</div>
      <div class='line'>Blushed a warm crimson to the astonished sight.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>And the poet goes on to say that as Triptolemus
gave a golden plenty to the land:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>Fair Cytherea, as she flew along,</div>
      <div class='line'>O’er the vast lap of nature kisses flung;</div>
      <div class='line'>Pleased from on high she viewed the enchanted ground,</div>
      <div class='line'>And from her lips thrice fell a magic sound;</div>
      <div class='line'>He gave to mortals corn on every plain,</div>
      <div class='line'>But she those sweets which mitigate my pain.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>In England during the reign of Edward
IV., kissing was very popular; a guest was
expected on his arrival and also on his departure
to salute not only his hostess but
all the ladies of the family. So well did
this novel importation thrive under the
cloudy skies of England that from being
an occasional luxury it soon became an
every-day enjoyment and the English were
celebrated far and near as a kissing people.
In 1497 when Erasmus was in England, according
to his description, the practice was
at its height. He says “if you go to any
place you are received with a kiss by all; if
you depart on a journey you are dismissed
with a kiss; you return, kisses are exchanged;
they have come to visit you—a
kiss the first thing; they leave you—you
kiss them all round. Do they meet you
anywhere?—kisses in abundance. Lastly
wherever you move there is nothing but
kisses—and if you had but once tasted
them! how soft they are! how fragrant!
on my honor you would not wish to reside
here for ten years only, but for life!”</p>

<p class='c008'>John Bunyan, the author of the “Pilgrim’s
Progress,” writing over a hundred
years later, did not view the practice with
enthusiasm. He wrote: “The common salutation
of women I abhor; it is odious to
me in whomsoever I see it. When I have
seen good men salute those women that they
have visited, or that have visited them,
I have made my objections against it; and
when they have answered that it was but a
piece of civility, I have told them that it
was not a comely sight. Some, indeed,
have urged the holy kiss; but then, I have
asked them why they make balks? why they
did salute the most handsome and let the
ill favored ones go.”</p>

<p class='c008'>In an old book called “The Ladies Dictionary,”
speaking of kissing in Scotland,
the author says: “But kissing and drinking
are now both grown to a greater custom
among us than in those days with the
Romans.” And to what extent kissing was
carried on in Rome, Martial has stated in
his “Epigrams.” “Every neighbor,” he
says, “every hairy-faced farmer presses on
you with a strongly scented kiss. Here the
weaver assails you, there the fuller and the
cobbler, who has just been kissing leather;
here the owner of the filthy beard, and a
one-eyed gentleman; there one with bleared
eyes, and fellows whose mouths are defiled
with all manner of abominations.”</p>

<p class='c008'>In England the custom of universal kissing
seems to have gone out about the time
of the Restoration. Its abandonment in
England might have formed part of that
French code of politeness which Charles II
introduced on his return. Returning to our
first thought as to the origin of Kissing, we
may use the very safe phrase that “its origin
is involved in mystery,” and agree with the
poet that</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>When we dwell on the lips of the love we adore,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Not a pleasure in nature is missing</div>
      <div class='line'>May that man lie in Heaven—he deserves it I’m sure</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Who was first the inventor of kissing.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>How Adam kissed Eve has been described
in “Paradise Lost:”</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line in24'>—— he, in delight</div>
      <div class='line'>Both of her beauty and submissive charms,</div>
      <div class='line'>Smiled with superior love, as Jupiter</div>
      <div class='line'>On Juno smiles, when he impregns the clouds</div>
      <div class='line'>That shed May flowers: and pressed her matron lip</div>
      <div class='line'>With kisses pure.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>Though we may be unfortunate in tracing
back the origin of this pleasing custom, let
us see if we have better luck in an attempt
to answer the question, “What is a kiss?”</p>

<p class='c008'>First, we will go to the dictionary where
we learn that a kiss, a smack, or a buss, is
“a salute made by touching with the lips
pressed closely together and suddenly parting
them.”</p>

<p class='c008'>Dr. Stormouth says that the word kiss
seems to have had its origin in the practice
of feudal times of expressing homage to a
superior by kissing the hand, foot or some
part of the body or, in his absence, some
object belonging to him, as a gate or a
lock.</p>

<p class='c008'>One poet calls kisses “the fragrant breath
of summer flowers.” This is a very happy
conceit that is not always found to be true,
for how fragrant kisses are depends very
much on the breath of the principals engaged.
Coleridge calls them “nectar
breathing.” Shakespeare speaks of them
as “seals of love,” and Sidney tells us they
tie souls together. An old poet asks:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>What is a kiss? alacke! at worst,</div>
      <div class='line'>A single drop to quench a thirst,</div>
      <div class='line'>Tho’ oft it proves in happier hour</div>
      <div class='line'>The first sweet drop of one long shower.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>Robert Herrick, the old English divine,
says of a kiss:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>It isn’t creature born and bred</div>
      <div class='line'>Between the lips all cherry red;</div>
      <div class='line'>It is an active flame that flies</div>
      <div class='line'>First to the babies of the eyes;</div>
      <div class='line'>Then to the cheek, the chin, the ear;</div>
      <div class='line'>It frisks and flies—now here, now there;</div>
      <div class='line'>’Tis now far off, and then ’tis near;</div>
      <div class='line'>Here and there and everywhere.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>Among short definitions we have that of
the old Georgia farmer who caught a young
couple kissing on a train that was passing
through a tunnel, and called the act “dipping
sugar.” A kiss is like a rumor, because
it goes from mouth to mouth; its
shape is a lip-tickle; as a grammatical part
of speech it is a conjunction; kisses are the
interrogation points in the literature of
love. Then again, kissing has been called
lip-service and has been defined as the prologue
to sin; more often, let us hope, it is
simply a sweetmeat which satisfies the hunger
of the heart.</p>

<p class='c008'>Martial, the old satirist, has called the
kisses of his favorite “the fragrance of balsam
extracted from aromatic trees; the
ripe odor yielded by the teeming saffron;
the perfume of fruits mellowing in their
winter repository; the flowery meadows in
the vernal season; amber warmed by the
hand of a maiden; a garden that attracts
the bees.”</p>

<p class='c008'>Kisses have been called the balm of love;
Cupid’s seal; the lover’s fee; the fee of
parting; the first and last of joys; the
homage of the life; the hostage of promise;
love’s chief sign; love’s language; love’s
mintage; love’s print; love’s tribute; love’s
rhetoric; the nectar of Venus; the pledge
of bliss and love; the seal of bliss; the
melting sip, and the stamp of love.</p>

<p class='c008'>Johannas Secundus says to his sweetheart:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>’Tis not a kiss you give, my love!</div>
      <div class='line'>’Tis richest nectar from above!</div>
      <div class='line'>A fragrant shower of balmy dews,</div>
      <div class='line'>Which thy sweet lips alone diffuse!</div>
      <div class='line'>’Tis every aromatic breeze,</div>
      <div class='line'>That wafts from Africa’s spicy trees;</div>
      <div class='line'>’Tis honey from the osier hive,</div>
      <div class='line'>Which chymist bees with care derive</div>
      <div class='line'>From all the newly opened flowers</div>
      <div class='line'>That bloom in Cecrop’s roseate bowers,</div>
      <div class='line'>Or from the breathing sweets that grow</div>
      <div class='line'>On famed Hymettus’ thymy brow.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>Kisses, according to Sam Slick, are like
creation, because they are made out of
nothing and are very good. Another wag
says they are like sermons, they require two
heads and an application.</p>

<p class='c008'>An ingenious American grammarian thus
conjugates the verb: Buss, to kiss; rebus,
to kiss again; pluribus, to kiss without regard
to number; sillybus, to kiss the hand
instead of the lips; blunderbus, to kiss the
wrong person; omnibus, to kiss every person
in the room; erebus, to kiss in the dark.</p>

<p class='c008'>Robert Burns thus speaks of it:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>Honeyed seal of soft affections,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Tenderest pledge of future bliss</div>
      <div class='line'>Dearest tie of young connections.</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Love’s first snowdrop, virgin bliss.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>But kissing baffles all attempts at analysis;
as Josh Billings says “the more a man
tries to analize a kiss, the more he can’t;
the best way to define a kiss is to take one.”
Kisses are commodities costing nothing,
never wearing out, and always to be had in
abundance. After all, why are kisses pleasant?
A scientist says that kissing is pleasant
because the teeth, jawbones and lips are full
of nerves, and when the lips meet an electric
current is generated.</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>Oh that a joy so soon should waste!</div>
      <div class='line'>Or so sweet a bliss as a kiss</div>
      <div class='line'>Might not forever last!</div>
      <div class='line in2'>So sugared, so melting, so soft, so delicious.</div>
      <div class='line'>The dew that lies on roses,</div>
      <div class='line'>When the morn herself discloses,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Is not so precious.</div>
      <div class='line'>Oh, rather than I would it smother,</div>
      <div class='line'>Were I to taste such another.</div>
      <div class='line'>It should be my wishing</div>
      <div class='line'>That I might die kissing.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>The late George D. Prentice said he had a
female correspondent who wrote “when two
hearts are surcharged with love’s electricity,
a kiss is the burning contract, the wild
leaping flames of love’s enthusiasm.” The
humorist observed that the idea was very
pretty, “but a flash of electricity is altogether
too brief to give a correct idea of a
truly delicious kiss.” We agree with Byron
that the strength of a kiss is generally measured
by its length. Still, there should be
a limit, and we really think that Mrs.
Browning, strong-minded woman as she is,
transcends all reasonable limits in her notions
of a kiss’s duration. In her ‘Aurora
Leigh’ she talks of a kiss</p>

<p class='c008'>‘As long and silent as the ecstatic night.’</p>

<p class='c008'>That, indeed, must be ‘linked sweetness’
altogether too long drawn out.</p>

<div class='chapter'>
  <h2 class='c005'>II.</h2>
</div>

<p class='c006'><span class='sc'>How to kiss—The act fully described—Size
of the mouth to be considered—Large
mouths and those of the rose-bud
sort—The girl who claws and
struggles—Poetical directions—Dangers
of hugging—Tapping the
lips of a Mexican senorita—Kissing
a Chinese girl—How to receive a
kiss—Long-remembered kisses—The
kiss in betrothal and marriage.</span></p>

<p class='c007'>Having at least learned something as to
the nature of a kiss, let us seek information
on how to kiss. There are various general
directions; the gentleman must be taller
than the lady he intends to kiss. Take her
right hand in yours and draw her gently to
you; pass your left hand over her right
shoulder, diagonally down across her back,
under her left arm; press her to your bosom,
at the same time she will throw her head
back and you have nothing to do but lean
a little forward and press your lips to hers,
and then the thing is done. Don’t make a
noise over it as if you were firing off shooting
crackers, or pounce upon it like a hungry
hawk upon an innocent dove, but gently
fold the damsel in your arms without smashing
her standing collar or spoiling her curls,
and by a sweet pressure upon her mouth,
revel in the blissfulness of your situation
without smacking your lips on it as you
would over a glass of beer. It might be
well at the conclusion of the operation to
ask the young woman if it was satisfactory,
for we are never satisfied that a lady understands
a kiss unless we have it from her own
mouth.</p>

<p class='c008'>A Kentucky authority insists that a man
must be in humor for the business; you
want to get the idea into your head that the
girl is just dying to be kissed by you and is
only waiting for you to make the break.
Then you want to take a good view of her
mouth and see just how much of it you can
take in. If she has a regular rose-bud
mouth, why, take it all in and throw your
whole soul into one kiss, but if her mouth
has the appearance of a landscape cut in two
by a waterless river, then the safest plan is
to take in the corners and byways, and sort
of divide your kiss into sections.  Most
girls have no end of cheek, therefore a fellow
can seldom miss fire in kissing a girl on the
cheek. Do not kiss her ear as nine cases
out of ten the girl will make a slight dodge
so as to impress you with the idea that you
are really surprising her in your action; the
result is you miss the ear, kiss her hair and
get your mouth full of ten-cent hair oil.
Only actors kiss on the brow. If a girl has
a pretty mouth kiss it every time, but if her
mouth is so large that you endanger your
life by getting too near it, then resort to the
next best thing and kiss her on the cheek.</p>

<p class='c008'>We repeat, to kiss a woman properly the
size of her mouth must be carefully gauged
before proceeding to the work. Large
mouths put a man to the severest test; he
will be driven to his wit’s end whether to
begin at one corner and conclude on the
other, or to make a heroic dash at the middle
and endeavor to reach both corners. The
heroic dash is considered by students in the
art of kissing to be the best, for it takes the
least amount of time, and allowance should
always be made for the struggle to get away
from the kisser which, albeit only a mock
effort, might inadvertently prove successful.
Delicately-formed mouths with rounded lips
and of a velvety color are the easiest to kiss,
and most submissive.</p>

<p class='c008'>You must never kiss a young girl if she
doesn’t want you to. The main ingredient
that makes kissing endurable is a willingness
on the part of the female. If it deepens
into anxiety so much the better. When a
girl claws a man’s hair and scratches his
face like a little fool drop her at once. As
long as the girl doesn’t claw and yell and
struggle like a panther, it is perfectly safe
to continue prospecting. If you are just
beginning to teach a shy girl, who has only
been kissed heretofore by her brothers and
father, touch your lips gently to her forehead.
She will take this as an exhibition of
profound respect. That position gained,
working the way down to the lips is as
natural and easy as the course of a log sliding
down the wood flume of a lumber company.</p>

<p class='c008'>A popular comic song with the imperative
title of “Sock her on the kisser” states that
when a man falls in love with a little turtle-dove
“he will linger all around her under-jaw”
and goes on, in a chorus, to give directions,
to wit:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>If you want to kiss her neatly, very sweetly and completely,</div>
      <div class='line'>If you want to kiss her so’s to kiss her nice,</div>
      <div class='line'>When you get a chance to kiss her, make a dodge or two and miss her,</div>
      <div class='line'>Then sock her on the kisser once or twice.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>That rhyme will do for the “gallery
gods”; those in the orchestra seats will
appreciate the following:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>The cutest trick in a kiss that’s quick</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Is to put it where it belongs;</div>
      <div class='line'>To see that it goes below the nose</div>
      <div class='line in2'>And knocks at the gate of songs.</div>
    </div>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>A kiss that is cold may do for the old,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Or pass with a near relation;</div>
      <div class='line'>But one like that is a work—that’s flat—</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Of supererogation.</div>
    </div>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>If you’re going to kiss, be sure of this—</div>
      <div class='line in2'>That the girl has some heart in her;</div>
      <div class='line'>I wouldn’t give a darn for the full of a barn</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Of kisses without a partner.</div>
    </div>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>The point of this rhyme is to take your time,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Kiss slowly and do it neatly;</div>
      <div class='line'>If you do the thing right and are halfway bright,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>You can win her sweet heart completely.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>Of course hugging is often a legitimate
part of kissing. A Western writer has given
us a humorous account of the dangers of
hugging. He claims that hugging is a comparatively
modern institution and draws the
line between the hug and the embrace. The
hug is an earnest, quick, impetuous contraction
of the muscles of the arms and
the chest when the object to be hugged lies
within the circle bounded by the arms,
while the chest is the goal or final point of
the hug. The warmth of the hug is determined
by the extent of the muscular contraction.
But the hug is not, as anatomists
assert, terminated when the object is brought
in contact with the chest.  On the contrary
the sweeping in is but the shell of the operation.
The kernel is reached when the space
between the hugger and the huggee is annihilated,
and the blade of a knife could
scarcely be inserted between both surfaces.
The release, if not skillfully managed, is attended
with danger and should be as gradual
as the elementary pressure. Expressions of
anguish on the part of the huggee may, as a
rule, be regarded as hypocritical, and should
have no effect in inducing the hugger to
diminish the pressure.  Danger signals,
from the huggee, without foundation may be
punished by from two to three pounds additional
pressure.</p>

<p class='c008'>The senoritas of Mexico, it is said, have
but a faint idea of kissing, that art from
which so few possess the capacity of extracting
the most available ecstasy. An American
stopping in Mexico writes: “I one day
offered to show a dark-eyed, raven-haired
young lady how <i>los Americanos</i> performed
the act. She laughingly agreed and I advanced
upon her, my right arm bent at the
elbow, afforded my hand an opportunity of
accumulating her dimpled chin. Gently
folding back her head and throwing a look
or rather a rapid series of looks of unutterable
nothing into my eyes, I gazed clean
through hers for a moment, and then with
a long drawn breath I tapped her lips. It
was a revelation to her; she quivered visibly,
but, instead of returning my kiss she broke
away from my embrace and ran off to lock
herself up, frightened, pleased, but astonished.
With me it was merely a mechanical
operation but, after two days, I saw her and
she told me with a deep blush that she
wished she had been born in America.”</p>

<p class='c008'>An American naval officer who, while in
Japan, had become smitten with a Chinese
girl, invited her to give him a kiss. Finding
her comprehension of his request somewhat
obscure, he suited the action to the word,
and took a delicious kiss. The girl ran in
another room exclaiming “terrible man-eater.
I shall be devoured.” But in a moment
finding herself uninjured she returned
to him, saying “I would learn more of your
American rite, kee-es me.” He knew it was
not right but he kept on instructing her in
the rite of “kee-es me” until she knew how
to do it like a native Yankee girl. And after
that she suggested a second course, remarking
“kee-es me some more, Mee-lee-kee!”
(American). And the lesson went on until
her mamma’s voice rudely awakened them
from their delicious dream.</p>

<p class='c008'>The concluding lines of a Chinese poem
show that in some circles of China, at least,
kissing is understood:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>Oh for those blushing, dimpled cheeks,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>That match the rose in hue!</div>
      <div class='line'>If one is kissed, the other speaks,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>By blushes, <span class='fss'>KISS ME TOO</span>!</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>A man ought to know how to kiss and a
girl ought to know how to receive a kiss.
The Rev. Sidney Smith, the witty divine,
says: “we are in favor of a certain amount
of shyness when a kiss is proposed, but it
should not be too long, and when the fair
one gives it, let it be administered with a
warmth and energy; let there be soul in it.
If she close her eyes and sighs immediately
after it the effect is greater. She should be
careful not to slobber a kiss but give it as a
humming-bird runs his bill into a honeysuckle,
deep but delicate. There is much
virtue in a kiss when well delivered. We
have the memory of one we received in our
youth which lasted us forty years, and we
believe it will be one of the last things we
shall think of when we die.”</p>

<p class='c008'>The poets have sung of long remembered
kisses. One fugitive poem entitled “Three
Kisses” describes the lover as sitting beneath
the whispering trees and speaking
the tender words that rose unbidden upon
his lips.</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>I gently raised her sweet, pure face,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Her eyes with radiant love-light filled.</div>
      <div class='line'>That trembling kiss I’ll ne’er forget,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Which both our hearts with rapture thrilled.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>After ten years the sweetheart, now his
wife, dies and he is gazing at the pale shape
of clay, once warm with the throb of human
life.</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>Softly I stoop those lips to kiss,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>That oft have thrilled with rapturous love,</div>
      <div class='line'>But they are cold and motionless,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>No power again can make them move.</div>
    </div>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>The last farewell caress is o’er,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>E’en that cold touch is now denied;</div>
      <div class='line'>A grief, like waves on barren shore,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Sweeps over me, an endless tide.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>And so the bereaved one gives way to his
sad thoughts and recognizes the fact that he
must struggle on alone. But while his
tearless eyes with madness shine he feels the
arms of his baby child stealing round his
neck and the baby lips laid against his own.</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>My bonds are loosed; I press the child</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Against my breast while fall the tears;</div>
      <div class='line'>Beyond the throes of passion wild</div>
      <div class='line in2'>A ray of living hope appears.</div>
    </div>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>Sweet child, thy mother’s very soul</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Was in that kiss. Through worldly strife</div>
      <div class='line'>Perchance men find a Heavenly goal,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>A purer love in death than life.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>There is another anonymous fugitive
poem also entitled “Three Kisses.” The
first of the three is “sacred unto pain,”
and on account of the many times the twain
had hurt each other. The second kiss is full
of joy’s sweet thrill.</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>We have helped each other always,</div>
      <div class='line'>We always will.</div>
      <div class='line'>We shall reach until we feel each other,</div>
      <div class='line'>Beyond all time and space;</div>
      <div class='line'>We shall listen until we hear each other</div>
      <div class='line'>In every place;</div>
      <div class='line'>The earth is full of messengers</div>
      <div class='line'>Which love sends to and fro;</div>
      <div class='line'>I kiss thee, darling, for all joy</div>
      <div class='line'>Which we shall know!</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>The last kiss is given with the remembrance
that they may die and never see each
other.</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>Die with no time to give</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Any sign that our hearts are faithful</div>
      <div class='line'>To die as live.</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Token of what they will not see</div>
      <div class='line'>Who see our parting breath,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>This one last kiss my darling seals</div>
      <div class='line'>The seal of death.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>A poetical apostrophe to the benefit of a
wife’s kiss is entitled “Angel food”;</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>“Give me a kiss, ’twill cure the pain and ache</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Of the long day of weariness and toil;</div>
      <div class='line'>Like summer sunshine all life’s shadows make,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>My burdens lighter, and my sins assoil.”</div>
    </div>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>So every day he lived on angel’s-food;</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Made strong and valiant by her wifely kiss;</div>
      <div class='line'>To bravely put aside temptations rude,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Yet knew not whence his armor came, I wis,</div>
    </div>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>Nor knows he now, albeit she is gone,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>But lives his life in brave and saintly mood—</div>
      <div class='line'>The kisses which he grew and strengthened on,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Are still to him his daily angel-food.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>And here is a description of “Two
Kisses”:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>You bent your head, then close you pressed</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Your warm and glowing lips to mine;</div>
      <div class='line'>Your tender hand my hair caressed,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>When first you gave that kiss divine,</div>
    </div>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>My heart was throbbing with delight,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>My soul was steeped in holy bliss;</div>
      <div class='line'>I gazed into your eyes so bright,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>When first you gave me that sweet kiss.</div>
    </div>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>In all the after years of pain,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>When from my side you I did miss,</div>
      <div class='line'>I think I see your face again,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>When you first gave me that sweet kiss.</div>
    </div>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>I stand again in that old lane.</div>
      <div class='line in2'>But now the leaves are sere and yellow,</div>
      <div class='line'>And with a heart of grief and pain,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>I see you kiss another fellow.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>In the ceremony of betrothal a kiss has
played an important part in several nations.
A nuptial kiss in church at the conclusion
of the marriage services is solemnly enjoined
by the York Missal and the Sarum Manual.
In the old play of “The Insensate
Countess,” by Marston, occurs the line:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>The kiss thou gav’st me in church here take,</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>It was also considered an honor to be the
first to kiss the bride after the ceremony,
and all who would might contend for the
prize. In the “Collier’s Wedding,” by Edward
Chicken, we read:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>Four rustic fellows wait the while</div>
      <div class='line'>To kiss the bride at the church stile.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>When ladies’ lips were at the service of
all it became usual to have fragrant scented
comfits or sweets, of which we find frequent
mention. In Massinger’s “Very Woman”
occurs the following:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>Faith! Search our pockets, and if you find there</div>
      <div class='line'>Comfits of amber grease to help our kisses,</div>
      <div class='line'>Conclude us faulty.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>Pliny describes the introduction of the
custom to the degeneracy of the Roman
ladies who, in violation of the hereditary
delicacy of the females of Rome, descended
to the indulgence of wine. Kissing was resorted
to by husbands as the most courteous
process to ascertain the quality of their
wives’ libations; and Cato, the elder, recommends
the plan to the serious attention
of all careful heads of families.</p>

<div class='chapter'>
  <h2 class='c005'>III.</h2>
</div>

<p class='c006'><span class='sc'>The significance of kisses—The kissing
of hands in religious ceremony and
social life, in ancient Rome, Mexico
and Austria—The politic achievement
of a kiss—An indignant cardinal—A
kiss within the cup—Something
about lips, the sweet petitioners
for kisses—Dancing and kissing—An
Irish kissing festival—Electric
kissing parties—Kissing under
the mistletoe—New year’s kissing
in old New York—A Western kissing
bee.</span></p>

<p class='c007'>There is much significance in kisses. To
kiss the lips is to adore the living breath of
the person saluted; to kiss the feet or the
ground is to express humiliation; to kiss the
garments to express veneration. The kissing
of hands is of great antiquity, and seems
to have been equally employed in religion
and in social life. It was thus that the sun
and moon were worshipped from the remotest
ages. Job alludes to this custom
when he says: “If I have looked upon the
sun when he was shining forth, or at the
moon advancing bright, and my heart have
been secretly enticed, and my hand have
kissed my mouth, this also were an iniquity,”
etc. Lucian relates of Demosthenes
that, having fallen into the hands of Antipater
and obtained permission to enter a
temple in the neighborhood, he carried his
hand to his mouth on entering, which his
guards took for an act of religion, but,
when too late, found he had swallowed
poison. Among the Romans, persons were
treated as atheists who would not kiss their
hands when they entered a temple. In the
early days of Christianity, it was the custom
of the primeval bishops to give their
hands to be kissed by the ministers who
served at the altar. This custom, however,
as a religious rite, declined with paganism.</p>

<p class='c008'>In society, the kissing of hands has always
been regarded as a mute form of compliment,
and used in asking favors, in
thanking those from whom they have been
received, and in showing veneration for superiors.
Priam, in Homer, kissed the hands
and embraced the knees of Achilles in conjuring
him to restore the body of Hector.
This custom prevailed in ancient Rome, but
it varied. In the first ages of the Republic
it seems to have been only practiced by inferiors
to their superiors; equals gave their
hands and embraced. In the progress of
time, even the soldiers refused to show this
mark of respect to their generals; and their
kissing the hand of Cato when he was obliged
to quit them was regarded as an extraordinary
circumstance, at a period of such refinement.
Under the emperors, kissing
hands became an essential duty, even for
the great themselves; inferior courtiers were
obliged to be content to adore the purple by
kneeling, touching the robe of the emperor
by the right hand, and carrying it to the
mouth. Even this was thought too free;
and at length they saluted the emperor at a
distance by kissing their hands, in the same
manner as when they adored the gods.
Solomon says of the flatterers and suppliants
of his time, that they ceased not to kiss the
hands of their patrons till they had obtained
the favors which they had solicited. Cortez
found the custom in Mexico, where upwards
of a thousand of the nobility saluted
him by touching the earth with their hands,
which they carried afterwards to their
mouths.</p>

<p class='c008'>Kissing the hand is a national custom in
Austria. A gentleman on meeting a lady
friend kisses her hand, and does the same at
parting from her. A beggar-woman to
whom you have given an alms, either kisses
your hand or says: “I kiss your hand.”
The stranger must expect to have his hand
kissed not only by beggars, but by chambermaids,
lackeys, and even by old men.</p>

<p class='c008'>In Ben Jonson’s play, “Cynthia’s Revels,”
Hedon says to his friend: “You know I call
Madam Philantia, my Honor; and she calls
me her Ambition. Now, when I meet her
in the presence, anon, I will come to her
and say, ‘Sweet Honor, I have hitherto contented
my sense with the lilies of your hand,
but now I will taste the roses of your lips;’
and, withal, kiss her; to which she cannot
but blushingly answer, ‘Nay, now you are
too ambitious.’ And then do I reply: ‘I
cannot be too Ambitious of Honor, sweet
lady. Will’t not be good?’”</p>

<p class='c008'>And his friend assures him that it is “a
very politic achievement of a kiss.”</p>

<p class='c008'>When the gallant Cardinal, John of Lorraine,
was presented to the Duchess of Savoy,
she gave him her hand to kiss, greatly
to the indignation of the irate churchman.
“How, madam,” he exclaimed, “am I to be
treated in this manner? I kiss the Queen,
my mistress, who is the greatest queen in
the world, and shall I not kiss you, a dirty
little Duchess?” Without more ado he
caught hold of the princess and kissed her
thrice in the mouth. He was apparently of
the mind of Selden, who thought “to kiss
ladies’ hands after their lips, as some do, is
like little boys who, after they eat the apple,
fall to the paring.”</p>

<p class='c008'>It was a custom among the Greeks and
Romans to drink from the same cup as their
lady friends, and from the spot where the
fair one had touched the brim. Ben Jonson
borrows this idea from a Greek poet when
he says:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>Or leave a kiss within the cup,</div>
      <div class='line'>And I’ll not ask for wine.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>One of the older poets referring to this
custom, writes:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>Blest is the goblet, oh! how blest,</div>
      <div class='line'>Which Heliodorus’ lips have pressed!</div>
      <div class='line'>Oh, might thy lips but meet with mine,</div>
      <div class='line'>My soul should melt away in thine.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>Of course the poets have had a good deal
to say about lips. Anacreon speaks of “lip-provoking
kisses,” and, alluding to the lip
of another fair one, calls it a “sweet petitioner
for kisses.” Tatius speaks of “lips
soft and delicate for kissing;” and Lucretius
gave it as his opinion that girls who
have large lips kiss much sweeter than
others. The ancient ladies seemed to enter
into kissing with such enthusiasm that they
often bit their lovers. Cattalus, in one of
his poems, asks:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>Whom wilt thou for thy lover choose?</div>
      <div class='line'>Whose shall they call thee, false one, whose?</div>
      <div class='line'>Who shall thy darted kisses sip,</div>
      <div class='line'>While thy keen love-bites scar his lip!</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>And Horace, in one of his odes, says:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>Or on thy lips the fierce, fond boy</div>
      <div class='line'>Marks with his teeth the furious joy.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>When kissing was a common civility of
daily intercourse, it is not to be wondered
at that it should find its way into the courtesies
of dancing, and thus we learn that a
kiss was anciently the established fee of a
lady’s partner. In a dialogue between Custom
and Verite, concerning the use and
abuse of dancing and minstrelsie, is the following
verse:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>But some reply, what fool would daunce,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>If that, when daunce is doone,</div>
      <div class='line'>He may not have, at lady’s lips,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>That which in daunce he woon.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>In the “Tempest” this line occurs:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>Curtsied when you have and kissed.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>And Henry says to Anne Boleyn:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line in10'>Sweetheart,</div>
      <div class='line'>I were unmannerly to take you out,</div>
      <div class='line'>And not to kiss you.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>A correspondent having bitterly complained
of the lascivious character of the
dancing of the period, Budgell, in the
course of his reply, remarks:</p>

<p class='c008'>“I must confess I am afraid that my correspondent
had too much reason to be a little
out of humor at the treatment of his
daughter; but I conclude that he would
have been much more so had he seen one of
those kissing dances, in which Will Honeycomb
assures me they are obliged to dwell
almost a minute on the fair one’s lips, or
they will be too quick for the music, and
dance quite out of time.”</p>

<p class='c008'>Sir John Suckling, in his “Ballad of the
Wedding,” published some years before this
period, said:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>O’ th’ sudden up they rise and dance;</div>
      <div class='line'>Then sit again, and sigh, and glance;</div>
      <div class='line'>Then dance again, and kiss.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>Brand, in his “Popular Antiquities,” tells
us that the custom of kissing in dancing, is
still prevalent in many parts of the country.
“When the fiddler thinks young couples
have had music enough, he makes his instrument
squeak out two notes, which all
understand to say ‘kiss her.’” The panting
bucolic swains are not slow to claim this
privilege from their blushing partners.</p>

<p class='c008'>In the “Banquet” of Xenophon, quoted
by Burton in his “Anatomy of the Melancholy,”
there is an account of an interlude,
or dance, in which Dionysius and Ariadne
were engaged, which was of such a pleasing
character that the account states that “the
audience were so ravished with it, that they
that were unmarried swore they would
forthwith marry, and those that were married
called instantly for their horses and
galloped home to their wives.”</p>

<p class='c008'>In Hone’s “Table Book” there is an account
of a curious kissing festival held in
Ireland. It is stated that on Easter Monday
several hundred young persons of the
town and neighborhood of Potsferry, County
Down, dressed in their best, went to a pleasant
walk near the town. “The avowed object
of each person is to see the fun, which
consists in the men kissing the females,
without reserve, whether married or single.
This mode of salutation is quite a matter of
course; it is never taken amiss, nor with
much show of coyness. The female must be
ordinary indeed who returns home without
having received at least a dozen hearty
kisses.”</p>

<p class='c008'>Some writer of the future, in describing
the manners and customs of our modern
age, will doubtless allude to the “electric
kissing parties,” which it is averred exist
in New England, and which are thus described:</p>

<p class='c008'>“The ladies and gentlemen range themselves
about the room. In leap year the
lady selects a partner, and together they
shuffle about on the carpet until they are
charged with electricity, the lights in the
room having first been turned low. Then
they kiss in the dark, and make the sparks
fly for the amusement of the on-lookers.
Oh, the shock is delightful! I have never
been but to one electric party, but I understand
that after a young lady has played
the game for a while it is impossible to give
her a shock. Probably the gentleman don’t
shuffle his feet hard enough on the carpet.
Gracious! I’m afraid I should wear the soles
off my shoes.”</p>

<p class='c008'>Kissing under the mistletoe is a custom
of very remote origin, and a practice too
common to be dealt with here, though it
may not, perhaps, be known that, owing to
the licentious revelry to which it gave occasion,
mistletoe was formerly excluded by
ecclesiastical authority from the decoration
of the church at Christmas time. Hone
tells us that there was an old belief that
unless a maiden was kissed under the mistletoe
at Christmas time, she would not be
married during the ensuing year.</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>The shepherd, now no more afraid,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Since custom doth the chance bestow,</div>
      <div class='line'>Starts up to kiss the giggling maid</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Beneath the branch of mistletoe,</div>
      <div class='line'>That ’neath each cottage beam is seen,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>With pearl-like berries, shining gay,</div>
      <div class='line'>The shadow still of what hath been,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Which fashion yearly fades away.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>The special custom connected with the
mistletoe on Christmas Eve is undoubtedly
a relic of the days of Druidism, and is familiar
to most readers. A branch of the
mystic plant is suspended from the wall or
ceiling, and any one of the fair sex who,
either from inadvertence or on purpose,
passes beneath the plant, incurs the penalty
of being then and there kissed by any man
who has the courage to avail himself of the
privilege.</p>

<p class='c008'>The Scandinavian tradition is that Balder
was killed by a mistletoe arrow given to the
blind Höder by Loki, the god of mischief
and potentate of our earth. Balder was restored
to life, but the mistletoe was placed
in future under the care of Friga, and was
never again to be an instrument of evil till
it touched the earth, the empire of Loki.
Hence, it is always suspended from ceilings.
And when persons of opposite sexes pass
under it, they give each other the kiss of
peace and love, in the full assurance that
the plant is no longer an instrument of
mischief.</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>Quiet it hangs on the wall,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Or pendent droops from the chandelier,</div>
      <div class='line'>As if never a mischief or harm could fall</div>
      <div class='line in2'>From its modest intrusion, there or here!</div>
      <div class='line'>And yet how many a pulse it has fired,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>How many a lip made nervously bold,</div>
      <div class='line'>When youthful revel went on, untired,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>In the Christmas days of old!</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>A modern English writer says that in
Battersea Park on bank holiday he found
kissing to be all the vogue. “But what
kissing! Instead of the rhythmic chant, the
graceful dance, or even the sportive chase of
the northern kissing games, here was simply
promiscuity of osculation of the most unabashed
description. There was no ring to
begin with, only an imperfectly cleared
space in the middle of a great crowd. In
this crowd a young woman would approach
a young man—as often as not a perfect
stranger—thrust a chip into his hand, and
then bolt across the green. The man
chases her, runs her down, and brings her
back with his arm around her waist, enters
the cleared space, and kisses her, sometimes
half a dozen times, before the on-lookers.
Sometimes the girl chases the man, sometimes
the man the girl. If they wanted
their kisses <i>sans ceremonie</i> they were caught
at once, and kissed without more ado.”</p>

<p class='c008'>In Diedrich Knickerbocker’s veracious
History of New York, it is told how the
good burghers of New Amsterdam, with
their wives and daughters, dressed in their
best clothes, repaired to the governor’s
house, where the rite of kissing the women
a happy new year was observed by the governor.
Antony, the Trumpeter, who acted
as head usher, was a young and handsome
bachelor. “Nothing could keep him from
following the heels of the old governor,
whom he loved as he did his very soul; so,
embracing all the young vrouws, and giving
every one of them that had good teeth and
rosy lips a dozen hearty smacks, he departed,
loaded with their kind wishes.” The
Trumpeter seems to have been a prodigious
favorite among the women, and was the
first to exact the toll of a kiss levied on the
fair sex at Kissing Bridge, on the highway
to Hellgate.</p>

<p class='c008'>In the far west they have “kissing bees,”
and the rural husking frolic common to
many parts of the country has been described
by Joel Barlow, an early American poet:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>The laws of husking every wight can tell,</div>
      <div class='line'>And sure no laws he ever keeps so well;</div>
      <div class='line'>For each red ear a general kiss he gains,</div>
      <div class='line'>With each smut ear he smuts the luckless swains;</div>
      <div class='line'>But when to some sweet maid a prize is cast,</div>
      <div class='line'>Red as her lips, and taper as her waist,</div>
      <div class='line'>She walks the round and culls one favored beau,</div>
      <div class='line'>Who leaps the luscious tribute to bestow.</div>
      <div class='line'>Various the sports, as are the wits and brains</div>
      <div class='line'>Of well-pleased lasses and contending swains;</div>
      <div class='line'>Till the vast mound of corn is swept away,</div>
      <div class='line'>And he that gets the last ear wins the day.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<div class='chapter'>
  <h2 class='c005'>IV.</h2>
</div>

<p class='c006'><span class='sc'>Kissing in different countries: In Arabia,
Egypt, Russia, Finland, Iceland,
Paraguay—A pleasing but perplexing
Norwegian custom—The “blue
laws” of Connecticut—Kissing in
the eyes of the law—Money value
of a stolen kiss—Sanitary dangers
of kissing—Kissing the dying—Famous
kisses—The Blarney Stone—Soulful
kisses—Kissing the feet of
beggars.</span></p>

<p class='c007'>The custom of kissing varies in different
countries. The Arabian women and children
kiss the beards of their husbands; the
superior returns the salute by a kiss on the
forehead. In Egypt, the inferior kisses the
hand of a superior, generally on the back,
but sometimes on the palm; the son kisses
the hand of his father, the wife that of her
husband, the slave, and often the free servant,
that of the master; the slaves and
servants of a grandee kiss their lord’s sleeve
or the skirt of his clothing.</p>

<p class='c008'>In Russia, the Easter salutation is a kiss.
Each member of the family salutes the
other; chance acquaintances on meeting
kiss; principals kiss their employés; the
General kisses his officers; the officers kiss
their soldiers; the Czar kisses his family,
retinue, court and attendants, and even his
officers on parade, the sentinels at the palace
gates, and a select party of private soldiers,
probably elaborately prepared for this “royal
salute.” In other parts, the poorest serf,
meeting a high-born dame on the street, has
but to say, “Christ is risen,” and he will
receive a kiss and the reply, “He is truly
risen.” The Empress Catherine of Russia
instituted assemblies of men and women to
promote the cultivation of polite manners.
Among the rules for maintaining the decency
of those assemblies she directed that
“no gentleman should force a kiss from, or
strike a woman in the assembly, under pain
of execution.”</p>

<p class='c008'>A most pleasant, tender, but, at the same
time, perplexing salute, is that bestowed
upon one by the women of Norway, who,
after having put you to bed and tucked you
up well between the sweet-smelling sheets,
bend their fresh, fair faces, and kiss you
honestly upon the beard, without a shadow
even of shame or doubt.</p>

<p class='c008'>In Finland, contrary to the usual custom,
the women object to the practice of osculation.
A Finnish matron, on hearing that
it was a common thing in England for man
and wife to kiss, expressed great disgust
thereat, declaring emphatically that if her
husband dared to take such a liberty, she
would give him a box on the ears he would
feel for a month!</p>

<p class='c008'>In Iceland illegitimate and illicit kissing
has had deterrent penalties of great severity.
For kissing another man’s wife, with or
without her consent, the punishment of exclusion,
or its pecuniary equivalent, was
awarded. A man rendered himself liable
for kissing an unmarried woman under legal
guardianship without her consent; and,
even if the lady consented, the law required
that every kiss should be wiped out by a
fine of three marks, equivalent to 140 ells of
wadmal, a quantity sufficient to furnish a
whole ship’s crew with pilot jackets.</p>

<p class='c008'>In Paraguay you are by force of custom
obliged to kiss every lady you are introduced
to, though this is not such an inestimable
privilege as one would suppose, for there all
the females above thirteen chew tobacco!
But one-half of the young women you meet
are really tempting enough to render you
happy regardless of the consequences, and
you would sip the dew of the proffered lip
in the face of a tobacco factory—even in the
double distilled honey-dew of old Virginia.</p>

<p class='c008'>Under the notorious “blue laws” of Connecticut,
no woman was allowed to kiss even
her child on the Sabbath, or fasting day,
under heavy penalties. Only a few years
ago it was considered remarkable that a
Western magistrate should impose a heavy
fine and a term of incarceration upon an
unfortunate fellow who had kissed a pretty
girl on the ears without her consent, but
police justices in New York have quite frequently
imposed the same punishment for
similar offenses that have occurred in recent
years. In the eyes of the law, kissing a lady
without her will and permission is a common
assault, punishable by a fine and imprisonment.
Some one of an inquiring turn
of mind has tried to definitely determine
the average money value of a stolen kiss in
the United States. Court rulings show that
the act of forced osculation in Pennsylvania
costs $750, while in New York it is placed
at $2,500. New Jersey, with a shocking
disregard to the merits of the stolen sweets
to be drawn from the ruby lips of her lovely
lasses, puts the value of a kiss at $1.15.
Kissing goes by favor is a trite saying, but
the figures submitted indicate that the sands
of Jersey offer the greatest inducements to
indulge in this delightful diversion.</p>

<p class='c008'>From the medical point of view there is
danger in kissing. The spread of diphtheria,
it is said, is largely due to the practice of
kissing children. It is hard to conceive of
any mode of propagation more directly
suited to the spread of the infection or more
general in its operation. It stands to diphtheria
in about the same relation that promiscuous
hand-shaking formerly did to the
itch. A physician in explaining to a third
party the warning he gave his wife not to
let the children kiss any one, said: “I tell
you it wasn’t Judas alone who betrayed with
a kiss. Hundreds of lovely, blooming children
are kissed into their graves every year.
There is death in a kiss. The beloved and
lamented Princess Alice, of Hesse, took
diphtheria from the kiss of her child, and
followed it to the grave. Diphtheria, malaria,
scarlet fever, blood poison, death
lurk in the kisses!”</p>

<p class='c008'>There are superstitions about kissing.
There is a man living at Luray, Virginia,
who became convinced when young that
kissing was wicked because Christ was betrayed
with a kiss. He resolved never to
kiss anybody. He has been married twenty
years and is the father of eleven children,
but has never kissed his wife or one of his
offspring.</p>

<p class='c008'>Among the quaint customs wherein kissing
is involved is the surprisal of any person
asleep by one of the opposite sex. In
such a situation the drowsy party may be
kissed with impunity, and must, in addition,
pay the saluting party the forfeit of a pair
of gloves.</p>

<p class='c008'>St. Valentine has also a good deal of kissing
to answer for. The osculatory customs
of this holiday are capitally and graphically
illustrated by Sir Walter Scott in “The
Fair Maid of Perth,” where the heroine
kisses her stalwart lover, Harry, on St. Valentine’s
morning, and they afterwards exchange
their betrothal gifts prepared on
such occasions with much forethought and
circumspection as to their suitability and
appropriateness.</p>

<p class='c008'>It was the custom among the Romans to
give the dying a last kiss, in order, as they
thought, to catch the parting breath. Spenser,
in his pastoral elegy on the death of Sir
Philip Sidney, mentions it as a circumstance
which renders the loss of his illustrious
friend more to be lamented, that no one
was nigh to close his eyelids “and kiss his
lips.” A little after he notices the “dearest
love” of the deceased weeping over him.</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>She, with sunset kisses, sucked the wasting breath</div>
      <div class='line'>Out of his lips, like lilies pale and soft.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>When Lord Nelson was dying on board
his flagship, he took leave of his faithful
friend, Hardy, by kissing him. “Kiss me,
Hardy!” he said, and these were the last
words he uttered. And so, too, Sir Walter
Scott, when dying, kissed Lockhart, saying,
“Be good, my dear! be good.”</p>

<p class='c008'>Many famous kisses might be mentioned.
It is recorded in the book of Genesis that
when Jacob kissed Rachel he “lifted up his
voice and wept.” One of the funny writers
has attempted to account for his weeping.
He gives, among other reasons, that he wept
because it was not time to kiss her again;
because Rachel threatened to tell her ma;
he wept because the damsel did not kiss
him; he thought she was fast colors, and
cried when the paint came off; when he
lifted up his voice, he found it heavy, and
could not get it so high as he intended; he
wept because Rachel encouraged him to kiss
her twice more, and he was afraid to do it;
finally, he wept because his first enjoyment
of the most delightful pleasure of life overcame
him.</p>

<p class='c008'>Duncan Mackenzie, a veteran of Waterloo,
who died at Elgin, Scotland, in 1866,
delighted in relating how he kissed the
duchess in taking the shilling from between
her teeth to become one of her regiment, the
Gordon Highlanders, better known as the
Ninety-second. The old Scottish veteran
has not one left behind him to tell the same
tale about kissing the blue-eyed duchess in
the market-place of Dutkill.</p>

<p class='c008'>There is a famous kiss in the “Beggar’s
Opera.” It was given by Macbeth to Jenny
Diver, and the unpleasant effect which it
produced on him may be judged from the
sarcastic remark: “One may know by your
kiss that the gin is excellent.”</p>

<p class='c008'>Petruchio gave his bride a kiss of enormous
calibre. We are told that he “kist
her lips with such a clamorous smack, that
at the parting all the church echoed.” Tennyson
speaks of the kiss given to Fatima by
her lover:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line in20'>Once he drew</div>
      <div class='line'>With one long kiss my whole soul through</div>
      <div class='line'>My lips—as sunlight drinketh dew.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>Margarida gave her lover a kiss, which
fact coming to the knowledge of her husband,
he gave her the troubadour’s heart to
eat, disguised as a savory morsel. When
Queen Margaret kissed Chartier, the ugliest
man in France, she exclaimed: “I kiss the
soul that sings.” Voltaire was kissed in the
stage-box at the theatre by the lovely
Countess de Villars. John Milton, when a
collegian, was kissed by a high-born Italian
beauty; and Sterne, the novelist, says of
kisses: “For my own part, I would rather
kiss the lips I love than dance with all the
graces of Greece, after bathing themselves
in the springs of Parnassus. Flesh and
blood for me, with an angel in the inside.”</p>

<p class='c008'>Tom Hood once questioned whether the
grave, sedate Hannah More had ever been
kissed; and Horace Smith, in his “Rejected
Addresses,” affirms that on a certain
occasion:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>Sidney Morgan was playing the organ,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>While behind the vestry door</div>
      <div class='line'>Horace Twiss was snatching a kiss</div>
      <div class='line in2'>From the lips of Hannah More.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>Every one remembers the famous kiss imprinted
by Mr. Bumble on the “chaste
nose” of Mrs. Corney; and the still more
famous kiss applied to the lips of Mary, the
pretty housemaid, by Sam Weller. Sam
had dropped his hat, which the housemaid
picked up, and Sam kissed her.</p>

<p class='c009'>“You don’t mean to say you did that on
purpose?” said the pretty housemaid,
blushing.</p>

<p class='c009'>“No, I didn’t then,” said Sam, “but I
vill now.” So he kissed her again.</p>

<p class='c009'>“Sam!” said Mr. Pickwick, calling over
the banisters.</p>

<p class='c009'>“Coming, sir!” replied Sam, running
up-stairs.</p>

<p class='c009'>“How long you have been!” said Mr.
Pickwick.</p>

<p class='c009'>“There was something behind the door
which perwented our getting it open for
ever so long, sir,” replied Sam.</p>

<p class='c009'>And this was the first passage of Mr.
Weller’s first love.</p>

<p class='c008'>The custom of kissing the Blarney Stone
is explained as follows: In the year 1602,
when the Spaniards were inciting the Irish
chieftains to harass the English authorities,
Cormac MacCarthy held, among other dependencies,
the Castle of Blarney, and had
concluded an armistice with the Lord-President,
on condition of surrendering this fort
to an English garrison. Day after day did
his lordship look for the fulfillment of the
compact, while the Irish Pozzo di Borgo, as
loath to part with his stronghold as Russia
to relinquish the Dardanelles, kept protocolizing
with soft promises and delusive delays,
until at last Carew became the laughing
stock of Elizabeth’s ministers, and
“Blarney talk” proverbial.</p>

<p class='c008'>A popular tradition attributes to the
Blarney Stone the power of endowing whoever
kisses it with the sweet, persuasive,
wheedling eloquence so perceptible in the
language of the Cork people, and which is
generally termed blarney. This is the true
meaning of the word, and not, as some
writers have supposed, a faculty of deviating
from veracity with an unblushing countenance,
whenever it may be convenient.</p>

<p class='c008'>The curious traveler will seek in vain the
<i>real</i> stone, unless he allows himself to be
lowered from the northern angle of the lofty
castle, when he will discover it about twenty
feet from the top, with the inscription,
“<i>Cormac MacCarthy fortis me fierifecit,
A. D. 1446</i>.” As the kissing of this would
be somewhat difficult, the candidate for
Blarney honors will be glad to know that at
the summit, and within easy access, is another
<i>real</i> stone, bearing the date of 1703.</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>In Blarney Castle, on a crumbling tower,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>There lies a stone (above your ready reach),</div>
      <div class='line'>Which to the lips imparts, ’tis said, the power</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Of facile falsehood and persuasive speech;</div>
      <div class='line'>And hence, of one who talks in such a tone,</div>
      <div class='line'>The peasants say, “He’s kissed the Blarney Stone.”</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>The famous “soulful” kiss given to Fatima
suggests the thought that such kisses
are by no means new, though, in the present
day, they may be out of fashion. In
“Don Juan” Byron speaks of</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>Such kisses as belong to early days,</div>
      <div class='line'>When heart, and soul, and sense, in concert move.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>Diagnosing such a kiss, the poet informs
us that on such occasions the blood is like
lava, the pulse is all ablaze, and each kiss
of that kind he declares is a “heart-quake.”</p>

<p class='c008'>In the time of Herrick there was an
anonymous poet who thus philosophized on
the “soulful kiss”:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>Philosophers pretend to tell</div>
      <div class='line'>How, like a hermit in his cell,</div>
      <div class='line'>The soul within the brain does dwell.</div>
      <div class='line'>But I, who am not half so wise,</div>
      <div class='line'>Think I have seen’t in Chloe’s eyes;</div>
      <div class='line'>Down to her lips from thence it stole,</div>
      <div class='line'>And there I kiss’d her very soul.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>The kings and queens of England in ancient
times practiced the ceremony of washing
the feet of beggars, in imitation of
Christ, who washed the feet of His disciples.
They washed and kissed the feet of as many
poor people as they themselves numbered
in years, and bestowed a gift, or <i>maunday</i>,
upon each; the ceremony occurred on
Maundy-Thursday. Queen Elizabeth performed
this ceremony when she was thirty-nine
years old—that is, she kissed the feet
of thirty-nine paupers after their feet had
been washed by yeomen of the laundry with
warm water and sweet herbs, and afterward
by the sub-almoner. The last of the English
monarchs who performed this office
in person was James II., in 1731, in his
forty-eighth year. In 1530, on Maundy-Thursday,
Cardinal Wolsey washed and
kissed the feet of fifty-nine poor men, “and,
after he had wiped them, he gave every one
of the said poor men twelve pence in money,
three ells of good canvas to make them
shirts, a pair of new shoes, a cask of red
herrings and three white herrings, and, to
one of them, two shillings.” This custom
is no longer observed, but the poor still receive
their gifts from the royal bounty.</p>

<div class='chapter'>
  <h2 class='c005'>V.</h2>
</div>

<p class='c006'><span class='sc'>Different kinds of kisses: The long,
long kiss, the paroxysmal, the icy,
the Western, the life-teeming kiss—How
college girls kiss—The kiss
of a female cornetist—Platonic
kisses—Roman osculation—Characteristics
of kisses—The kiss as a
punishment—The king of baby-kissers—The
kiss after marriage—Stolen
kisses, sometimes called
“dainty bits of plunder”—The
story of a Circassian girl.</span></p>

<p class='c007'>There are a great many kinds of kisses.
There is Byron’s “long, long kiss of youth
and love.” A rural suitor kissed his girl
repeatedly after this fashion. When he
finally ceased, the tears came into her eyes,
and she said, in sad tones: “Ah, Rufus! I
fear you have ceased to love me!” “Oh,
no, I haven’t,” he replied, with a wearied
air, “but I must breathe!” The “paroxysmal
kiss” has been described as a kiss “buttered
with soul-lightning.” Very different
from the kiss of a certain prominent actress:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>Hail! kiss of Mary Anderson, all hail!</div>
      <div class='line'>All hail, we sing, for hail is ice in chunks,</div>
      <div class='line'>And Mary’s kisses are but chunks of ice.</div>
      <div class='line'>Brittle and snappy, with no sign of thaw,</div>
      <div class='line'>Or warmth that meets and pins two souls</div>
      <div class='line'>Together at the touch of lips.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>There is a story told of a light, free-hearted
Western girl—probably auburn-haired—who,
while engaged in the osculatory
performance with her lover, swooped
down upon him like a summer fog upon a
millstone and scooped him in. She sat in
his lap and kissed him with a kissness which
an emotional actress would have given ten
years of her life to imitate upon the stage.
It was an earthquake of love, a simoon of
affection. She kissed him until his back
hair smoked.</p>

<p class='c008'>It is said that in nearly all the famous
colleges for women there is a special teacher
or doctress in physiology, and in the so-called
oral recitations the pernicious effects
of osculation are considered at great length.
By way of tolerating what seems to be a
necessary evil, various theories are advanced
and various provisions advocated. The girl
who comes from Smith College, Northampton,
kisses on the oblique lines that fall from
the left corner of your mouth, but when
kissed, is so adroit in the way she jerks her
head, that the point of salutation may be
found on a radius from the right of her demure
little mouth. The Vassar graduate
kisses more than her Smith College friend,
but the chin is her choice, as you will observe
in an attempt to salute her. The
seniors from Wellesley press their kisses
high up on the face, almost under the
sweep of the eyelash, and the Lake Forest
and Harvard Annex maidens kiss at a point
equally distant from the nose and ear.</p>

<p class='c008'>Very peculiar is the kiss of the female
cornetist. A young man who had attended
a concert gives his experience. “I had
known her in childhood, when we together
hunted the same schoolmaster with bean-blowers,
and at the conclusion of her cornet
solo I greeted her for the first time in several
years. Of course we kissed each other
impulsively. Good heavens! That was my
mental exclamation. I felt as though I had
been hit with brass knuckles or smacked by
a cast-iron image. I instinctively pressed
my handkerchief to my benumbed mouth,
and looked for the weapon with which I had
been assaulted. It was the girl’s kiss, however,
that I had felt. Good playing on the
cornet depends upon the amount of inflexibility
which can be imparted to the upper
lip. Hers had become fairly adamantine.”</p>

<p class='c008'>There is the “life-teeming kiss,” and, on
the other hand, there is the Platonic kiss.</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>But what Platonic kisses were</div>
      <div class='line in2'>I doubt if Plato ever knew—</div>
      <div class='line'>Not like, my birdie, I infer,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>The long, sweet kisses I give you,</div>
      <div class='line'>And those you give me back again,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Repeated oft, and never done;</div>
      <div class='line'>Not thus, I fancy, could it be</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Platonic brides were ever won.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>As for the gallant Frenchman, he said:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>Kiss me with some slow, heavy kiss,</div>
      <div class='line'>That plucks the heart out at the lips.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>The Romans had different words to distinguish
the different kinds of kisses. A
kiss between two friends was called osculum;
basium, a kiss of politeness; and suavium,
a kiss of love. The Roman emperors
saluted their principal officers by a kiss.
Kissing the mouth or the eyes was the usual
compliment upon any happy event. Soldiers
kissed the hand of the general when
he quitted his office. Fathers amongst the
Romans had so much delicacy that they
never embraced their wives in the presence
of their daughters. Near relatives were
allowed to kiss their female kindred on the
mouth, but this was done in order to know
whether they smelt of wine or not.</p>

<p class='c008'>Kisses are forced, unwilling, cold, comfortless,
frigid and frozen, chaste, timid,
rosy, balmy, humid, dewy, trembling, soft,
gentle, tender, tempting, fragrant, sacred,
hallowed, divine, soothing, joyful, affectionate,
delicious, rapturous, deep-drawn
and inebriating, ardent, flaming and akin
to fire, ravishing, lingering and long. One
also hears of parting, tear-dewed, savory,
loathsome, poisonous, treacherous, false,
rude, stolen, and great fat noisy kisses.</p>

<p class='c008'>There is the proud kiss, a pledge of eternal
hatred, which strikes the recipient like
a falling avalanche of Alpine snow. There
is the icy kiss, which sends your heart into
your boots and almost stifles the ebb and
flow of one’s life-blood. There is the frothy
kiss, which means nothing, and is common
between relations and friends. There is the
hypocritical, or Judas kiss, which gives you
a convulsive bang of pretended affection on
both cheeks—lips saying, “I am so glad to
see you,” etc., and the heart saying, “I dislike
you, and if I could show it, I would.”
There is the spiteful kiss, which, whilst it
seems teeming with sweetness, would like
to impart venom with the embrace. There
is the leather kiss, which gives back to the
kisser no more feeling response than the
orifice of a gutta-percha speaking-tube, and
as comfortless as frozen water to a starved
snake; and there is the noisy kiss.</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>There’s a formal kiss of fashion,</div>
      <div class='line'>And a burning kiss of passion,</div>
      <div class='line'>A father’s kiss,</div>
      <div class='line'>A mother’s kiss,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>And a sister’s kiss to move;</div>
      <div class='line'>There’s a traitor’s kiss of gold,</div>
      <div class='line'>Like a serpent’s clammy fold,</div>
      <div class='line'>A first kiss,</div>
      <div class='line'>A stolen kiss,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>And the thrilling kiss of love;</div>
      <div class='line'>A meeting kiss,</div>
      <div class='line'>A maiden kiss,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>A kiss when fond hearts sever,</div>
      <div class='line'>But the saddest kiss</div>
      <div class='line'>On earth is this—</div>
      <div class='line in2'>A kiss to part forever.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>There is the first kiss of love:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>When a youth and maid of demeanor gay,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>But still unversed in impassioned speech,</div>
      <div class='line'>Are seen to return from their stroll some day</div>
      <div class='line in2'>With a glorified look in the face of each—</div>
      <div class='line'>A look as of mingled life-tides set</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Hence evermore to a common goal—</div>
      <div class='line'>You may be sure that their lips have met</div>
      <div class='line in2'>In that kiss which compasseth soul with soul.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>Moore sings of a lover who taught his
sweetheart how to kiss in the dark, and
chides her afterwards for her dullness in
learning the lesson.</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>“Cease, cease,” the blushing girl replied,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>And in her milky arms she caught me;</div>
      <div class='line'>“How can you thus your pupil chide?</div>
      <div class='line in2'>You know <i>’twas in the dark</i> you taught me!”</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>During the late rebellion, so much kissing
had to be done on the part of the soldiers in
bidding adieu to their female friends that
an ingenious officer reduced the operation to
three motions. First motion: Bend the
right knee, straighten the left, bring the
head on a line with the piece; at the same
time extend the arms and clasp the cheeks
of the piece firmly in both hands. Second
motion: Bend the body slightly forward,
pucker the mouth slightly, and apply the
lips smartly to the muzzle mouldings. Third
motion: Break off promptly in both legs to
escape the jarring or injury should the piece
recoil.</p>

<p class='c008'>There is the pleasing punishment of a
kiss. In an anonymous poem, a lover tells
what he would do to his sweetheart if she
offended him; he would whip her with a
feather, give her a cross of pearl, and
smother her with roses.</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>And if she dared her <i>lips</i> to pout,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Like many pert young misses,</div>
      <div class='line'>I’d wind my arm her waist about</div>
      <div class='line in2'>And punish her with kisses.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>One of the sweetest poems on the subject
of a kiss is after Catullus, the Roman poet:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>Kiss me softly, and speak to me low,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Malice has ever a vigilant ear;</div>
      <div class='line in2'>What if Malice were lurking near?</div>
      <div class='line in10'>Kiss me, dear!</div>
      <div class='line'>Kiss me softly, and speak to me low.</div>
    </div>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>Kiss me softly, and speak to me low,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Envy, too, has a watchful ear;</div>
      <div class='line in2'>What if Envy should chance to hear?</div>
      <div class='line in10'>Kiss me dear!</div>
      <div class='line'>Kiss me softly, and speak to me low.</div>
    </div>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>Kiss me softly, and speak to me low;</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Trust me, darling, the time is near,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>When we may love with never a fear.</div>
      <div class='line in10'>Kiss me, dear!</div>
      <div class='line'>Kiss me softly, and speak to me low.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>In the spring of 1888 it was asserted of
Congressman Lewis E. McComas, of Maryland,
that he was the king of baby-kissers,
having reduced baby-kissing to a fine art.
The proceeding was something like this:
First of all, Mr. McComas stands over the
baby, and beams on it with his large, tender,
hazel eyes. Then, as if moved by a
sudden and irresistible impulse of affection,
he snatches the little one to his bosom with
all the fervor of the deserted stage mother.
After pressing it for a moment with head
bowed in emotion, he holds it in front of
him in a horizontal position, beams once
more on the little face; then his head slowly
descends, there is an agonizing pause before
the big moustache reaches the little lips, the
angels hovering about suspend the flapping
of their wings, a long-drawn sigh of joy
proceeds from the Congressman’s breast, a
low, sweet, lingering, honey-suggesting
smack is heard—and the deed is done.</p>

<p class='c008'>There used to be a minstrel ballad describing
the wedding of our simian ancestor.
It was said:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>The monkey married the baboon’s sister,</div>
      <div class='line'>Smacked his lips, and then he kissed her—</div>
      <div class='line'>Kissed so hard he raised a blister—</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>After which, the chronicler asserts:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>She set up a howl.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>There is the kiss after marriage. A story
is told of a wife who was scolding her husband
because he had found fault with certain
conduct of their daughter. The old
gentleman lost all patience, finally.</p>

<p class='c008'>“Now, see here, old woman,” said he,
kindly, but firmly; “if you don’t hush your
nonsense and dry up, I’ll tell Matilda’s
beaux not to be caught swinging on the gate
with her at night, and I’ll tell ’em why.”</p>

<p class='c008'>“You will, hey?”</p>

<p class='c008'>“Yes, I will; because when I was a
courting young man, I was swinging on the
gate with a young woman, one night, and
Sam Solomon happened to pass by just as
she gave me a good-night kiss.”</p>

<p class='c008'>She commenced feeling around for something.</p>

<p class='c008'>“It was the most unlucky kiss I ever got,
for Sam gave up trying after that, and as
soon as he got out of the way, it was me or
nobody.”</p>

<p class='c008'>It was lucky he got over the fence and
around the corner as quick as he did, or the
surgeon wouldn’t have had such an easy job
of it.</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>You will find, my dear boy, that the dearly-prized kiss,</div>
      <div class='line'>Which with rapture you snatched from the half willing miss,</div>
      <div class='line'>Is sweeter by far than the legalized kisses</div>
      <div class='line'>You give the same girl when you’ve made her a Mrs.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>It might be well to memorize one or two
proverbs on this subject: “To kiss a man’s
wife, or wipe his knife, is but a thankless
office.” “He that kisseth his wife in the
market-place shall have enough to teach
him.”</p>

<p class='c008'>Finally, there is the stolen kiss. The
bold lover says:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>Kiss her gently, but be sly,</div>
      <div class='line'>Kiss her when there’s no one by,</div>
      <div class='line'>Steal your kiss, for then ’tis meetest,</div>
      <div class='line'>Stolen kisses are the sweetest.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>The more backward swain <i>argues</i> the matter
to himself:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>If I should steal a little kiss,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Oh! would she weep, I wonder?</div>
      <div class='line'>I tremble at the thought of bliss—</div>
      <div class='line'>If I should steal a little kiss:</div>
      <div class='line'>Such pouting lips would never miss</div>
      <div class='line in2'>The dainty bit of plunder;</div>
      <div class='line'>If I should steal a little kiss,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Oh! would she weep, I wonder?</div>
    </div>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>He longs to steal a kiss of mine—</div>
      <div class='line in2'>He may, if he’ll return it!</div>
      <div class='line'>If I can read the tender sign,</div>
      <div class='line'>He longs to steal a kiss of mine;</div>
      <div class='line'>“In love and war”—you know the line.</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Why cannot he discern it?</div>
      <div class='line'>He longs to steal a kiss of mine,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>He may, if he’ll return it.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>And the man of observation has given his
experience in the matter:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>Beneath a shady tree they sat;</div>
      <div class='line'>He held her hand, she held his hat,</div>
      <div class='line'>I held my breath and lay right flat—</div>
      <div class='line in2'>They kissed—I saw them do it.</div>
      <div class='line'>He held that kissing was no crime;</div>
      <div class='line'>She held her head up every time;</div>
      <div class='line'>I held my peace, and wrote this rhyme,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>While they thought no one knew it.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>The prudent Scotch girl has expressed the
views of many of her sex in regard, not to
the impropriety of kissing, but of kissing
“before folk”:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>Behave yourself before folk,</div>
      <div class='line'>And dinna be sae rude to me,</div>
      <div class='line'>As kiss me sae before folk.</div>
      <div class='line'>It’s no through hatred o’ a kiss,</div>
      <div class='line'>That I sae plainly tell you this,</div>
      <div class='line'>But, ah! I tak’ it sae amiss</div>
      <div class='line'>To be sae teased before folk.</div>
      <div class='line'>Behave yoursel’ before folk,</div>
      <div class='line'>When we’re alone, ye may tak’ one,</div>
      <div class='line'>But nent a ane before folk.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>A Circassian was walking along one road,
and a woman along another. The roads
finally united, and reaching the point of
junction at the same time, they walked on
together. The man was carrying a large
iron kettle on his back; in one hand he
held the legs of a live chicken, in the other
a cane, and he was leading a goat. They
neared a dark ravine. Said the woman:
“I am afraid to go through that ravine
with you; it is a lonely place, and you
might overpower me and kiss me by force.”
Said the man: “How can I possibly overpower
you and kiss you by force, when I
have this iron kettle on my back, a cane in
one hand, a live chicken in the other, and
am leading this goat? I might as well be
tied hand and foot.” “Yes,” replied the
woman; “but if you should stick your cane
in the ground and tie your goat to it, and
turn the kettle bottom upward and put the
chicken under, then you might wickedly
kiss me in spite of my resistance.” “Success
to thy ingenuity, O woman!” said the
rejoicing man to himself; “I should never
have thought of this or similar expedients.”
And when they came to the ravine, he stuck
his cane into the ground, and tied the goat
to it, and gave the chicken to the woman,
saying: “Hold it while I cut some grass for
the goat,” and then—so runs the legend—lowering
the kettle from his shoulders, he
put the fowl under it, and wickedly kissed
the woman, as she was afraid he would.</p>

<div class='chapter'>
  <h2 class='c005'>VI.</h2>
</div>

<p class='c006'><span class='sc'>Men kissing each other in France, in England,
and in Germany—Origin of the
custom of kissing the Pope’s toe—Henry
IV. and his punishment—Kissing
the feet of royalty an ancient
custom—Kisses as rewards of genius—The
part osculation has paid in
politics—Curious bargains for kisses—What
legally constitutes a kiss—A
kiss at auction—Giving $50 to kiss
Edwin Booth.</span></p>

<p class='c007'>To an Englishman, full of his insular reserve,
there is something unmanly in the way
men at a public railway station in France
salute each other upon both cheeks; and yet
in England itself it was at one time the recognized
form of salutation. In Hone’s
“Year Book” occurs the following passage:</p>

<p class='c008'>“Another specimen of our ancient manners
is seen in the French embrace. The
gentleman, and others of the male sex, lay
hands on the shoulders and touch the side
of each other’s cheeks; but on being introduced
to a lady, they say to her father or
brother or friend, <i>permettez moi</i>, and salute
each of her cheeks.”</p>

<p class='c008'>During the time of James I. kissing was a
common civility among men. Evelyn in his
Diary and Correspondence, 1680, says in a
letter to Mrs. Owen: “Sir J. Shaw did us
the honor of a visit on Thursday last, when
it was not my hap to be at home, for which
I was very sorry. I met him since casually
in London, and kissed him there unfeignedly.”</p>

<p class='c008'>In Sir Walter Scott’s “Waverley,” after
the Baron had shaken Edward heartily by
the hand in the English fashion, he embraced
him <i>à-la-mode Françoise</i>, and kissed him on
both sides of his face; while the hardness of
his gripe, and the quantity of Scotch snuff
which his accolade communicated, called
corresponding drops of moisture to the eyes
of his guest.</p>

<p class='c008'>Among the Germans it is no uncommon
sight to find two great, bearded and mustached
giants, kissing each other like a pair
of turtle doves. In July, 1888, when the
Emperor William met the Russian Czar at
St. Petersburg, the two rulers embraced and
kissed each other several times.</p>

<p class='c008'>There is no doubt, however, that Germans
fully appreciate osculation between members
of the opposite sex. In a well-known German
novel, this passage occurs: “Sophia
returned my kiss and the earth went from
under my feet; my soul was no longer in my
body; I touched the stars; I knew the happiness
of Seraphim.” And it may be added,
that an enthusiastic old German beau of
former times declared, as the result of practical
experience, that kissing was an infallible
cure for the toothache!</p>

<p class='c008'>Among the English the custom has become
obsolete. As for women kissing each
other, the modern rhymster says:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>Men scorn to kiss among themselves,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>And scarce will kiss a brother;</div>
      <div class='line'>Women often want to kiss so much,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>They smack and kiss each other.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>As to the custom of kissing the Pope’s
toe, Matthew of Westminster writes that it
was customary at one time to kiss the hand
of His Holiness, but that a certain woman
in the eighth century not only kissed the
Pope’s hand, but squeezed it. The Pope,
seeing the danger to which he was exposed,
cut off his hand, and afterwards offered his
foot.</p>

<p class='c008'>But another authority says that kissing
the Pope’s toe was a fashion introduced by
one of the Leos, who had mutilated his right
hand and was too vain to expose the stump.</p>

<p class='c008'>In Charles Reade’s “Cloister and the
Hearth,” there is a short dissertation on
some curious kissing customs. Fra Colonna,
enamored of the pagan days, overwhelms
Brother Jerome with copious quotations,
showing the antiquity and pagan origin of
many modern ecclesiastical customs. “Kissing
of images and the Pope’s toe is Eastern
paganism,” said Fra Colonna. “The Egyptians
had it of the Assyrians, the Greeks of
the Egyptians, and we of the Romans, whose
Pontifax Maximus had his toe kissed under
the Empire. The Druids kissed their High
Priest’s toe a thousand years B.C. The Mussulmans
who, like you, professed to abhor
heathenism, kissed the stone of the Caaba—a
pagan practice. The priests of Baal kissed
their idols.”</p>

<p class='c008'>Kissing the foot, or the toe, has been required
by the popes as a sign of respect since
the eighth century. The first to receive the
honor was Constantine. It was paid to him
by the Emperor Justinian II. on his entry
into Constantinople 710. About 827 Valentine
I. required every one to kiss his foot,
and from that time this mark of reverence
has been expected. The Pope wears a slipper
with a cross, which is kissed. In recent times
Protestants have not been required to perform
the ceremony, but to bend the knee
slightly. When the excommunicated German
emperor, Henry IV., had been humbled
by three days of penance, barefoot, and fasting,
in the month of January, before the
palace of Pope Gregory VII., he was admitted
to “the superlative honor” of kissing
the pontiff’s toe.</p>

<p class='c008'>Kissing the feet of princes was a token of
subjection which was sometimes carried so
far that the print of the foot received the
kiss, so as to give the impression that the
very dust had become sacred by the royal
tread, or that the subject was not worthy to
salute even the prince’s foot, but was content
to kiss the earth itself near, or on
which he trod. The Bible says:</p>

<p class='c008'>“And kings shall be thy nursing fathers,
and their queens thy nursing mothers; they
shall bow down to thee with their face
toward the earth, and lick up the dust of
thy feet, and thou shalt know that I am the
Lord, for they shall not be ashamed that
wait for me.”—(Isaiah xlix. 23.)</p>

<p class='c008'>“They shall lick the dust like a serpent,
they shall move out of their holes like
worms of the earth; they shall be afraid of
the Lord our God and shall fear because of
thee.”—(Micah, vii. 17.)</p>

<p class='c008'>Kisses have been the reward of genius, as
when Voltaire was publicly kissed in the
stage-box by the young and lovely Duchess
de Villars, who was ordered by an enthusiastic
pit thus to reward the author of
“Merope.” In politics they have been used
as bribes, as in the famous Eatanswill elections
of the “Pickwick Papers,” and also in
a still more famous election. For, when
Fox was contesting the hard-won seat at
Westminster, the beautiful Duchess of
Devonshire offered to kiss all who voted for
the great statesman. And fully as famous,
and perhaps in a better cause, was the self-denying
patriotism of the beautiful Lady
Gordon, who, when the ranks of the Scottish
regiments had been sadly thinned by
cruel Badajoz and Salamanca, turned recruiting
sergeant, and, to tempt the gallant
lads, placed the recruiting shilling in her
lips, from whence who would might take it
with his own.</p>

<p class='c008'>In England, during the last century, a
certain candidate for a Norfolk borough
kissed the voters’ wives with guineas in his
mouth, for which he was expelled the
House. Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire,
gave Steel, the butcher, a kiss for his vote
nearly a century since.</p>

<p class='c008'>There have been bargains for kisses. A
French poet speaks of a country girl who
required “thirty sheep for one short kiss.”
The shepherd thought the bargain a good
one, but the next day he was agreeably astonished
at being able to get from the same
girl thirty kisses for one sheep. And then</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>The morrow, Phyllis, far more tender,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Trembling she would lose the bliss,</div>
      <div class='line'>Was very happy to surrender</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Thirty sheep for one short kiss.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>Strode, a minor English poet of the seventeenth
century, writes about how he and
his sweetheart played for kisses:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>My love and I for kisses played,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>She would keep stakes, I was content;</div>
      <div class='line'>But when I won she would be paid—</div>
      <div class='line in2'>This made me ask her what she meant.</div>
      <div class='line'>Nay, since I see (quoth she) you wrangle in vain,</div>
      <div class='line'>Take your own kisses, give me mine again!</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>Some time ago, a Mr. Finch, who was in
the jewelry business in Newbern, sold to a
young lady named Miss Waters what was
described as a beautiful set of real jet, the
bargain being that he was to receive in payment
one hundred kisses, to be paid at the
rate of one kiss daily. Mr. Finch was to
call at the lady’s house every day, Sundays
excepted, to receive his daily kiss, which
Miss Waters undertook and promised to
daily deliver to him. For thirty consecutive
days, Sundays excepted, Mr. Finch
punctually called upon Miss Waters, and
duly received the stipulated salutation. On
the thirty-first day, however, Mr. Finch
made a formal complaint that Miss Waters
was not fulfilling her contract, inasmuch as
she insisted upon permitting him to kiss her
cheek only. He maintained that this did
not constitute a legal kiss, and demanded
that he should be permitted to put his left
arm around her waist and kiss her in the
highest style of art. To this, however, a
firm refusal was returned. The lady offered
Mr. Finch a choice of cheeks, but insisted
that the contract would not bear the construction
put upon it. Thereupon Mr.
Finch, in great indignation, brought an action
for breach of contract against the lady.
This action raised several new and interesting
questions, among the most important
of which was what constituted, in the eye of
the law, a kiss. The plaintiff set up the
further plea that there was a difference between
active and passive kisses; that Miss
Waters had promised to give him a certain
number of kisses—not merely allow him to
take them—and that giving kisses was an
act which required the use of the lips. The
case was the subject of considerable controversy
in the press and elsewhere, but a compromise
of some sort was brought about.</p>

<p class='c008'>An equally remarkable kissing transaction
occurred in Austria: In this instance a kiss
was actually put up for sale at auction, and
publicly bestowed upon the highest bidder.
The occasion was a charity <i>fête</i> got up in
the little town of Torrantal on behalf of the
poor of Agram. The well-meant endeavor
of the benevolent ladies and gentlemen who
acted as salesmen and stall-holders to induce
visitors to purchase trifles exposed for
sale at twenty times their value had not succeeded.
Business was not brisk. The public
who had filled the sale were not in a
generous mood, and the organizers of the
<i>fête</i> were disheartened. At this juncture,
one of the lady patronesses, a remarkably
beautiful woman, had what she thought a
happy inspiration. She took her husband
aside, conferred with him for a few minutes,
and shortly after, with his consent, offered
a kiss to the highest bidder, the sum paid
for the favor to be added to the receipts of
the <i>fête</i>. Very low sums were at first offered
by the young men—for, of course, the
feminine portion of the visitors were not
tempted by the opportunity—and ultimately
the kiss was knocked down at the relatively
paltry figure of fifteen florins and eleven
kreutzers. The husband of the lady, seeing
the slight store set by the favor, offered to
pay the amount himself and take the kiss;
but the claimant had already handed over
the money, and as he refused to agree to the
bargain being canceled, the kiss was exchanged
before the assembled company.</p>

<p class='c008'>It is said that a California girl disposed of
her kisses at two cents apiece. One week
her receipts were $11.25. At regular rates
she should have had $11.75, but she sold
one job lot of twelve dozen at $2.50, which
accounted for the difference. One devoted
admirer made a special contract. In consideration
of his doing all his kissing with
her, he was charged much less than the regular
schedule rates. This traffic went on
for some months without the knowledge of
any persons except those immediately concerned.</p>

<p class='c008'>There is a story to the effect that when
Booth was traveling on the Boston &amp; Albany
Road one day, having just closed an
engagement in the New England metropolis,
he heard an expensively-dressed, handsome,
middle-aged woman back of him sigh
and say to her companion: “I would give
fifty dollars to kiss that man!” Booth
turned suddenly and looked at the speaker.
“Do you mean that?” he demanded, fixing
his fine, dark eyes upon her, and causing
the blood to mount up to the very roots of
her hair. “Why, yes, of course I do!” replied
the woman, confusedly, looking in a
helpless sort of way at the great tragedian
and at the smiling passengers. “Well, I
accept the terms, madam!” exclaimed
Booth, solemnly. “And I stand by my
proposition,” said the woman, recovering
her self-possession, and, rising, she imprinted
a sound kiss upon the actor’s lips.
Booth’s face did not betray the slightest
emotion. He received the kiss stolidly, and
did not return it, but waited until the impetuous
woman found her purse and handed
him a fifty-dollar bill. He took the money,
thanked her, and turning to a feeble, shabbily-dressed
woman on the other side of the
aisle, who was traveling with two young
children, placed the money in her hands,
and, with a courtly bow, said: “This is for
the children, madam! Take it, please,”
and, without another word, he left the car.</p>

<div class='chapter'>
  <h2 class='c005'>VII.</h2>
</div>

<p class='c006'><span class='sc'>Excuses for kissing; how all nature
justifies the practice—The childish
and the humorous excuse—Kissing
casuistry—The gluttony of kissing;
unaccountable osculatory demands—Excuses
for not kissing—Kissing
experiences—Dominie Brown’s first
kiss—The kiss of the Spanish girl,
the nurse, the mother—A curious
German custom.</span></p>

<p class='c007'>It must be remembered that the only animal
that knows how to kiss is man. Dogs
lick their masters and bears their ragged
cubs; cats their kittens, while donkeys and
the Esquimaux rub their noses; cows and
horses fondle each others’ necks and heads;
love-birds, pigeons, and other birds, nestle
together and have methods of their own of
showing affection peculiar to each; but
none of these creatures kiss. Even low-class
savages do not kiss like other men; so that
we may take this habit to be an evidence of
intellect and civilization.</p>

<p class='c008'>Various excuses have been made for kissing.
Shelley draws his excuses from Dame
Nature herself:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>See the mountains kiss high heaven,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>And the waves clasp one another;</div>
      <div class='line'>No sister flower would be forgiven</div>
      <div class='line in2'>If it disdained its brother;</div>
      <div class='line'>And the sunlight clasps the earth,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>And the moonbeams kiss the sea;</div>
      <div class='line'>What are all these kissings worth</div>
      <div class='line in2'>If thou kiss not me?</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>A poet of later days has carried out the
same conceit in very happy fashion:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>The lilies kiss the waves they love,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>The ripples kiss the flowers;</div>
      <div class='line'>The swallows sweep from heaven above,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>To kiss this world of ours;</div>
      <div class='line'>The foaming billows kiss the beach,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>In wild, ungentle fashion;</div>
      <div class='line'>The weeping willows earthward reach</div>
      <div class='line in2'>T’ enjoy the darling passion;</div>
      <div class='line'>The ivy kisses from its birth,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>All other things dismissing;</div>
      <div class='line'>And all things loveliest on earth</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Seem most engaged in kissing.</div>
      <div class='line'>As this by all is seen and heard</div>
      <div class='line in2'>And known to be most true, love,</div>
      <div class='line'>’Twere quite unnatural and absurd</div>
      <div class='line in2'>That I should not kiss you, love.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>There is a poem about a father lying beside
his little child, Daisy, as she is being
put to bed, and asking the foolish question
that wife and lover ask over and over again:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line in4'>There, close at her side,</div>
      <div class='line in4'>“Do you love me?” I cried;</div>
      <div class='line'>She lifted her golden-crowned head,</div>
      <div class='line in4'>A puzzled surprise</div>
      <div class='line in4'>Shone in her gray eyes—</div>
      <div class='line'>“Why, that’s why I kiss you,” she said.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>A humorous excuse was that given by the
defendant in a case of breach of promise.
The defendant was allowed to say a word in
his own behalf. “Yes,” he said, “I kissed
her almost continually every evening I
called at her house.” Lawyer for plaintiff:
“Then you confess it?” Defendant: “Yes,
I do confess it, but I had to do it.” Lawyer:
“You had to do it! What do you
mean?” Defendant: “That was the only
way I could keep her from singing.”</p>

<p class='c008'>The casuistry of kissing has been set forth
in these lines:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>When Sarah Jane, the moral Miss,</div>
      <div class='line'>Declares ’tis very wrong to kiss,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>I’ll bet a shilling I see through it!</div>
      <div class='line'>The damsel, fairly understood,</div>
      <div class='line'>Feels just as any Christian should,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>She’d rather <i>suffer</i> wrong than <i>do</i> it.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>There is a certain gluttony of kissing of
which many examples might be given.
There was once a jovial vicar who was such
a glutton for kisses, that when he obtained
the wished-for kiss, far from being satisfied
he asked for a score; and</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>Then to that twenty add a hundred more,</div>
      <div class='line'>A thousand to that hundred; so kiss on</div>
      <div class='line'>To make that thousand up to a million;</div>
      <div class='line'>Treble that million, and when that is done,</div>
      <div class='line'>Let’s kiss afresh, as when we first begun.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>There is a proverb which says: “When
gorse is out of blossom, kissing is out of
favor;” and gorse blossoms always, year in
and year out. This matter of countless kisses
has been the theme of many a poet. Catullus
averred that though his crop of kissing
were thicker than the dry ears of the corn-field,
he would not have enough. Another
ancient poet starts off with a thousand
kisses, adds a hundred thousand, repeats
the process (in rhyme, of course) twice, and
urges that he and his sweetheart shall purposely
confuse their memories as to the
number and begin all over again. Another
poet wants kisses equal in number as the
grains of sand on the seashore, as the stars
in the heavens.</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>Kisses told by hundreds o’er,</div>
      <div class='line'>Thousands told by thousands more,</div>
      <div class='line'>Millions, countless millions, then,</div>
      <div class='line'>Told by millions o’er again;</div>
      <div class='line'>Countless as the drops that glide</div>
      <div class='line'>In the ocean’s billowy tide,</div>
      <div class='line'>Countless as yon orbs of light</div>
      <div class='line'>Spangled o’er the vault of night,</div>
      <div class='line'>I’ll with ceaseless love bestow</div>
      <div class='line'>On those cheeks of crimson glow,</div>
      <div class='line'>On those lips so gently swelling,</div>
      <div class='line'>On those eyes such fond tales telling.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>The poet exclaims that love was never
satisfied with numbers, and argues that no
one would dream of counting each blade of
grass, each ear of ripening grain, or to a
scanty hundred would confine the clustering
bunches of grapes. Who would ask for a
thousand bees and no more, or regulate the
number of rain-drops that should fall on
some parched pasture-land? One of our
modern poets, John G. Saxe, has expressed
this ancient desire, and from much of
our modern poetry we should imagine the
sentiment was still in favor:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>Give me kisses—do not stay</div>
      <div class='line'>Counting in that careful way;</div>
      <div class='line'>All the coins your lips can print</div>
      <div class='line'>Never will exhaust the mint.</div>
      <div class='line in4'>Kiss me, then,</div>
      <div class='line'>Every moment—and again.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>Old Ben Jonson said that it would be his
wish that he might die kissing, and it is
said so grave a philosopher as John Ruskin
once invited a young lady to kiss him—“not
sometimes, but continually.”</p>

<p class='c008'>A young lady reading in a newspaper
of a girl having been made crazy by a sudden
kiss, called the attention of her uncle,
who was in the room, to that singular occurrence,
whereupon the old gentleman
gruffly demanded what the fool had gone
crazy for. “What did she go crazy for?”
archly asked the ingenuous maiden; “why,
for more, I suppose.”</p>

<p class='c008'>And, in rhyme, we have the same sentiment.</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>“Of all the poets, darling one,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Who’ve rhapsodized of love,</div>
      <div class='line'>Which one evokes your ardent praise</div>
      <div class='line in2'>All other bards above?”</div>
      <div class='line'>And as he took her in his arms</div>
      <div class='line in2'>And kissed her o’er and o’er,</div>
      <div class='line'>She spoke, in tones of ecstasy,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>“O Tommy, give me Moore!”</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>Some curious excuses are recorded for not
kissing. In a certain Methodist church the
young people were in the habit of playing
games whose forfeits were kisses, but a
pious old deacon was much troubled about
it; he said he was not opposed to kissing if
they did not kiss with “an appetite.” A
woman in trying to express her contempt
for a certain female friend, said: “If I was
a man I would no more kiss such a woman
than I would kiss a pair of tongs that had
been left out over night in a snow-bank.”</p>

<p class='c008'>Kissing experiences vary. A country
damsel, describing her first kiss, told her
female friend that she never knew how it
happened, but the last thing she remembered
was a sensation of fighting for her
breath in a hot-house full of violets, with
the ventilation choked by blush-roses and
tu-lips.</p>

<p class='c008'>A Western man relates his experience.
“Talk about kissing! Go away! I have
kissed in the North, I have kissed in the South;
I have repeated the soul-stirring operation
East and West; I have kissed in Texas and
away down in Maine; I have kissed at
Long Branch and at the Golden Gate—in
fact, in every State in the Union; in every
language and according to the manners and
customs of every nation. I have kissed on
the Mississippi and all its tributaries; but,
young man, for good sound kissing, give
me a full-fledged Caribou girl. When you
feel the pegs drawn right through the soles
of your feet, from your boots, that’s kissing,
that is.”</p>

<p class='c008'>We read of a king’s kiss that “fell like a
flame,” sending through every vein love’s
joy and pain. And Shakespeare speaks of
two lovers whose lips were “four red roses
on a stalk, and in their simple beauty kissed
each other.” A country girl insisted on
taking a stamp instead of a stamped envelope
at the post-office. “My beau,” she said,
“doesn’t like stamped envelopes. He lives
away out in Colorado, and he says he never
gets a chance to see me; but if I lick the
stamp and stick it on, he can chew it, and
it is the next thing to kissing me.” The
fact is, that a young lady’s first love-kiss
has the same effect on her as being electrified;
it’s a great shock, but it’s soon over.</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>My Julia from the latticed grove</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Brought me a sweet bouquet of posies,</div>
      <div class='line'>And asked, as round my neck she clung,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>If tulips I preferred to roses?</div>
      <div class='line'>“I cannot tell, sweet girl,” I sighed,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>“But kiss me, ere I see the posies.”</div>
      <div class='line'>She did. “Oh! I prefer,” I cried,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>“Thy two-lips to a dozen roses.”</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>Almost every one has heard of the first
kiss given by Dominie Brown to his sweetheart
Janet, after a courtship of seven years.
One evening, as they sat together in the customary
solemn silence, Mr. Brown summoned
courage and said: “We have been
acquainted now for seven years, and I’ve
ne’er gotten a kiss yet. D’ye think I might
tak’ wan, my bonnie girl?”</p>

<p class='c008'>“Just as you like, John, only be becoming
wi’ it.”</p>

<p class='c008'>“Surely, Janet, we’ll ask a blessing. For
what we are about to receive, Lord make us
truly thankful.”</p>

<p class='c008'>The kiss was taken, and the worthy divine,
overpowered by the blissful sensation, rapturously
exclaimed: “Oh! Janet, it is gude.
We’ll return thanks.” Six months afterwards
they were married.</p>

<p class='c008'>There is a poetic account of the kiss of
that black-eyed Spanish girl who first kisses
with her glances, practicing for the coming
encounter:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>Then she kisses with her eyelids,</div>
      <div class='line'>Kisses with her arching eye-brows,</div>
      <div class='line'>With her soft cheek softly rubbing,</div>
      <div class='line'>With her chin, and hands, and fingers.</div>
      <div class='line'>All the frame of Manuela,</div>
      <div class='line'>All her blood and all her spirit,</div>
      <div class='line'>All melt down to burning kisses,</div>
      <div class='line'>All she feeds on is their sugar.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>And there is what may be called the
apropos experience, equally interesting:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>She took my coat—I’m rather tall—</div>
      <div class='line in2'>And she is not so very;</div>
      <div class='line'>The steps led upward from the hall,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>She stood, the little fairy,</div>
      <div class='line'>Just balanced on the second stair,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>My great-coat’s burden holding;</div>
      <div class='line'>And then her hands, the kindest pair,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>The collar down were folding.</div>
    </div>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>There never was an eye so clear,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Nor lips so red in moving;</div>
      <div class='line'>“Just tall enough now, ain’t I, dear?</div>
      <div class='line in2'>See how I’ve grown from loving!”</div>
      <div class='line'>Just tall enough! from eye to eye</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Ran horizontal light;</div>
      <div class='line'>Just tall enough to—let me try—</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Yes, tall enough—good-night.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>And there is another kind of good-night
kiss. A certain swain, after having escorted
his sweetheart to and from a New England
forfeit party, where the poor girl, the belle
of the evening, had been kissed, as he expressed
it, “slobbered over by all, and sundry,”
of course kissed her good-night at the
gate. He declared in that one chaste salute
he could discriminate nine distinct and separate
flavors, viz., onions, tobacco, brandy,
peppermint, gin, lager-beer, checkerberry,
musk, and camphor.</p>

<p class='c008'>With some of us a kiss is our earliest
recollection:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>I recollect a nurse called Ann,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Who carried me about the grass;</div>
      <div class='line'>And one fine day a nice young man</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Came up and kissed the pretty lass.</div>
      <div class='line'>She did not make the least objection.</div>
      <div class='line in2'>Thinks I, “Ah,</div>
      <div class='line'>When I can talk, I’ll tell mamma.”</div>
      <div class='line in2'>And that’s my earliest recollection.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>In that old-fashioned youthful game,
“Kiss in the Ring,” a favorite manœuvre of
some of the boys was to keep out of a place
in the ring till they had kissed all the pretty
girls in succession. Those who grow up
with the same fondness for osculatory attentions
would probably like the custom in
some parts of Germany, which requires a
young man who is engaged to a girl, to salute,
upon making his adieu for the evening,
the whole of the family, beginning with
the mother. Thus, in a family circle embracing
half-a-dozen girls, each having a
lover, no less than forty-eight kisses would
have to be given on the occasion of a united
meeting; and when we consider that each
lover would give his own sweetheart ten
times as many kisses as he gave her sisters,
the grand total would outnumber a hundred.</p>

<p class='c008'>We must not omit the mother’s kiss. Her
good-bye kiss has been the charm which has
kept many a schoolboy in the right path
when he has got free from home influences.
Tom Brown, <i>en route</i> for Rugby, made a
bargain with his father, before starting, that
he was not to be subjected to the indignity
of a paternal kiss; not so, however, with
his mother, whose last kiss all the racket of
public school life could never efface from
his memory. Benjamin West, the artist,
once said: “A kiss from my mother made
me a painter.”</p>

<div class='chapter'>
  <h2 class='c005'>VIII.</h2>
</div>

<p class='c006'><span class='sc'>The important consequences connected
with kissing—Arrah-na-Pogue—Refusing
the sacrament on account of
a kiss—How a child’s kiss affected
the course of a desperate man—What
a little mare’s kiss did—Brought
to life by a kiss—The kiss
of death—Kissing in tunnels—A
mountain experience—Kissing the
cook.</span></p>

<p class='c007'>Many curious stories might be related of
important consequences coming from a kiss.
Sometimes a kiss proves useful. There is a
romantic story of the great Irish rebellion,
in which an imprisoned patriot under sentence
of death was enabled to make his escape,
the plan of operations being conveyed
to him in a billet carried to him by his
sweetheart in her mouth, and passed to him
by the medium of a kiss through the iron
grating of his dungeon. This was done
under the very noses of the governor and
sentinels placed there to intercept any improper
communication. This story has been
used in Arrah-na-Pogue, which means literally
“Arrah of the kiss.”</p>

<p class='c008'>In the “Memoirs of Adam Black,” published
by his sons in Edinburgh, is related
an incident which occurred in Adam’s
youth, and illustrates the severe sort of orthodoxy
that then prevailed among the
Evangelicals of Scotland. On one sacrament
Sunday morning the wife of the Rev.
John Colquhoun, of Leith, being desirous of
having him nicely rigged out for the occasion,
had his coat well brushed, his shirt as
white as snow, and his bands hanging handsomely
on his breast; and when she surveyed
her gudeman, she was so delighted
with his comely appearance that she suddenly
took him around the neck and kissed
him. The Rev. John, however, was so
offended by this carnal proceeding, that he
debarred his wife from the sacrament that
day.</p>

<p class='c008'>In a prison at New Bedford, Mass., there
was a man whom we will call Jim, who was
a prisoner on a life sentence. He was regarded
as a desperate, dangerous man,
ready for rebellion at any hour. He planned
a general outbreak, but was “given away”
by one of the conspirators. He plotted a
general mutiny or rebellion, and was again
betrayed. He then kept his own counsel,
and while never refusing to obey orders, he
obeyed like a man who only needed backing
to make him refuse to. One day, a party
of strangers came into the institution. One
was an old gentleman, the others ladies, and
two of the ladies had small children. The
guide took one of the children on his arm,
and the other walked until the party came
to climbing the stairs. Jim was working
near by, sulky and morose as ever, when the
guide said to him: “Jim, won’t you help
this little girl up the stairs?”</p>

<p class='c008'>The convict hesitated, a scowl on his
face; and the little girl held out her arms
to him and said: “If you will, I guess I’ll
kiss you.” The scowl vanished in an instant,
and he lifted the child as tenderly as
a father. Half-way up the stairs she kissed
him. At the head of the stairs she said,
“Now, you’ve got to kiss me, too.”</p>

<p class='c008'>He blushed like a woman, looked into her
innocent face, and then kissed her cheek,
and before he reached the foot of the stairs
again the man had tears in his eyes. From
that day he was a changed man, and no one
in the place gave less trouble. Maybe in
his far Western home he had a Katie of his
own. No one knows, for he never revealed
his inner life; but the change so quickly
wrought by a child gave hope that he would
forsake his evil ways.</p>

<p class='c008'>When Mr. Cole, a well-known circus proprietor
in the South, sold his stock in New
Orleans, three dun ring horses that he had
owned for years went with the others by
mistake. Mr. Cole at once bought them
back, saying that he would never consent to
have the horses become the property of any
one who would make them work, and that
he had decided to put them to a painless
death. He proposed bleeding them to
death, but W. B. Leonard, a liveryman,
suggested that the use of chloroform would
be a better and less painful mode. This
was finally decided upon, and a reliable
man procured, who was to have performed
the operation.</p>

<p class='c008'>They were all collected in the circus tent.
There were Cole, Leonard, the riders and
the clowns, the ringmaster, the tumblers
and leapers, and the three pet duns. Calling
the little mare by name, he told her to
kiss them all good-bye. The intelligent
animal, stretching forward her head, kissed
each one. This was more than they could
stand, and the sacrifice was put off. Cole
had no place to take them to, so Mr. Leonard
promised to find some one who would assume
charge of them, under a guarantee
never to work them, but to keep them in
good order until death should claim them
for the grave.</p>

<p class='c008'>A remarkable case of a child being brought
back to life by a kiss occurred in Louisville,
Ky. A man named Joseph Meyer had two
children, a boy about ten years and a girl
about two months old. This baby, which
appeared healthy, was suddenly taken ill
with something like convulsions, and came
very near dying before medical aid could be
summoned. The doctor was called in and
gave the child some medicine, not thinking,
however, that it could possibly live. He
then left, but returned the next morning.
When he reached the house the child was
barely breathing, and in a few minutes afterwards
respiration stopped altogether. Every
appearance of death was visible; the face
assumed the hue of death, the jaw dropped,
limbs relaxed, and the eyes became glazed.
The doctor examined the pulse, and listened
for the beating of the heart, but failing to
find any signs of life, pronounced the child
dead. It lay thus for fully ten minutes,
with the members of the family grouped
around the bed lamenting, as is usual in
such cases. The little girl’s brother, who
was just old enough to understand the situation,
and who seemed to be greatly grieved,
suddenly stepped from the circle and approached
the supposed corpse, leaned over
and imprinted a kiss upon the pallid lips.
The baby’s mouth was slightly open, and in
kissing her the boy blew his breath down
her throat. The little lips suddenly moved,
the child gave one or two sudden gasps and
then commenced to breathe, slowly and
feebly at first, and then gradually stronger,
until respiration became almost natural.
Every one around was terribly astonished
at this unlooked-for coming back from the
dead, and did not seem to realize the fact
until the child had been breathing for half
an hour. The little one rapidly improved,
and eventually regained its health.</p>

<p class='c008'>An old Roman Catholic missionary in a
little Mexican town speaks of a curious superstition
among his people in regard to a
certain grave in the cemetery. “A spirit,”
he says, “is said to have appeared to every
one buried in that grave, and to warn the
family whenever any of them is about to
pass away. Its appearance, which is generally
made in the following manner, is
believed to be uniformly fatal, being an
omen of death to those who are so unhappy
as to meet with it.</p>

<p class='c008'>“When a funeral takes place, the spirit
is said to watch the person who remains
last in the graveyard, over whom it possesses
a fascinating influence.</p>

<p class='c008'>“If the person be a young man, the spirit
takes the shade of a fascinating young female,
inspires him with a charmed passion,
and exacts a promise that he will meet her
at the graveyard a month from that day.
This promise is sealed with a kiss that communicates
a deadly taint to him who complies.
The spirit then disappears. No
sooner does the person from whom it received
the promise and the kiss pass the
boundary of the churchyard than he remembers
the history of the spectre. He sinks
into despair and insanity and dies. If, on
the contrary, the spectre appears to a young
woman, it assumes the form of a young
man of exceeding elegance and beauty.”</p>

<p class='c008'>On the subject of the humors of kissing
there is abundant material to draw from.
Stories about kissing in tunnels naturally
come to mind. The well-known court-plaster
incident is said to have occurred in
one of the tunnels of the Hudson River
Railroad. A very pretty lady was seated
opposite to a good-looking gentleman, who
was accompanying a party to Saratoga
Springs. It was observed that this exceedingly
handsome young woman had the
smallest bit of court-plaster on a slight
abrasion of the surface of her red upper
lip. As the cars rambled into the darkness
of the tunnel, a slight exclamation of “Oh!”
was heard from the lady, and when the cars
again emerged into the light, the little piece
of court-plaster aforesaid had become in
some mysterious manner transferred to the
upper lip of the young gentleman.</p>

<p class='c008'>Horace Vernet, the artist, was going from
Versailles to Paris by railway. In the same
compartment with him were two ladies
whom he had never seen before, but who
were evidently acquainted with him. They
examined him minutely, and commented
freely upon his martial bearing, his hale,
old age, the style of his dress, etc. They
continued their annoyance until finally the
painter determined to put an end to the
persecution. As the train passed through
the tunnel of St. Cloud, the three travelers
were wrapped in complete darkness. Vernet
raised the back of his hand to his mouth
and kissed it twice violently. On emerging
from the obscurity he found that the ladies
had withdrawn their attention from him,
and were accusing each other of having
been kissed by a man in the dark.</p>

<p class='c008'>Presently they arrived at Paris, and Vernet,
on leaving them, said: “Ladies, I shall
be puzzled all my life by the inquiry, <i>which</i>
of these two ladies was it that kissed me?”</p>

<p class='c008'>There have been some amusing osculatory
experiences in the far western part of our
country. A young Montana chap, upon
stepping aboard of a sleeping-car, thus addressed
the conductor: “See here, captain,
I want one of your best bunks for this
young woman, and one for myself individually.
<i>One</i> will do for us when we get to the
Bluff—hey, Mariar?” (Here he gave a playful
poke at “Mariar,” to which she replied:
“Now, John, quit.”) “For, you see, we’re
goin’ to git married at Mariar’s uncle’s.
We might a bin married at Montanny, but
we took a habit to wait till we got to the
Bluff, bein’ Mariar’s uncle is a minister,
and they charge a gosh-fired price for
hitchin’ folks at Montanny.”</p>

<p class='c008'>“Mariar” was assigned one of the best
“bunks.” During a stoppage of the train
at a station, the voice of John was heard in
pleading accents, unconscious that the train
had stopped, and that his tones could be
heard throughout the car:</p>

<p class='c008'>“Now, Mariar, you might give a feller
jes one.”</p>

<p class='c008'>“John, you quit, or I’ll git out right here
and hoof it back to Montanny in the snowstorm.”</p>

<p class='c008'>“Only one little kiss, Mariar, and I hope
to die if I don’t——”</p>

<p class='c008'>“John——”</p>

<p class='c008'>At this moment an old gray-beard poked
his head out of his berth, at the other end
of the car, and cried out:</p>

<p class='c008'>“Maria, for pity’s sake, <i>give</i> John one
kiss, so that we can go to sleep some time
to-night.”</p>

<p class='c008'>Thereupon John subsided and retired to
his berth to dream of the distinction between
the hesitancy of the kiss of courtship
and the freedom of the kiss connubial.</p>

<p class='c008'>A young and romantic Western girl,
kissed for the first time, said that she felt
like a tub of butter swimming in honey, cologne,
nutmegs, and cranberries, and as
though something was running through her
nerves on feet with diamonds, escorted by
several little Cupids in chariots drawn by
angels, shaded with honeysuckles, and the
whole spread with melted rainbows!</p>

<p class='c008'>Among the comic songs about kissing, the
one about Esau is the best:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>I saw Esau kissing Kate;</div>
      <div class='line in2'>The fact is we all three saw;</div>
      <div class='line'>For I saw Esau, he saw me,</div>
      <div class='line in2'>And she saw I saw Esau!</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<p class='c008'>A young lady of the gushing sort, while
passing through one of the military hospitals,
overheard the remark that a young lieutenant
had died that morning.</p>

<p class='c008'>“Oh, where is he? Let me see him. Let
me kiss him for his mother!” exclaimed the
maiden.</p>

<p class='c008'>The attendant led her into an adjoining
ward, when, discovering Lieutenant H., of
the Fifth Kansas, lying fast asleep on his
hospital couch, and thinking to have a little
fun, he pointed him out to the girl. She
sprang forward and, bending over him,
said: “Oh, you dear Lieutenant, let me kiss
you for your mother.”</p>

<p class='c008'>What was her surprise when the awakened
“corpse” ardently clasped her in his
arms, returned the salute with interest, and
exclaimed:</p>

<p class='c008'>“Never mind the old lady, Miss; go it on
your own account; I haven’t the least objection.”</p>

<p class='c008'>There is the experience of kissing the
cook. “I say, Mr. Smithers,” said Mrs.
Smithers to her husband, “didn’t I hear
you down in the kitchen kissing the cook?”
“My dear,” replied Smithers, blandly, “permit
me to insist upon my right to be reasonably
ignorant. I really cannot say what
you may have heard.” “But wasn’t you
down there kissing the cook?” “My dear,
I really cannot recollect. I only remember
going into the kitchen and out again. I
may have been there, and from what you
say I infer I was. But I cannot recollect
just what occurred.” “But,” persisted the
ruthless cross-examiner, “what did Jane
mean when she said: ‘Oh, Smithers, don’t
kiss so loud, or the old she-dragon up-stairs
will hear us?’” “Well,” said Smithers, in
his blandest tones, “I cannot remember
what interpretation I did put on the words
at the time. They are not my words, you
must remember.”</p>

<p class='c008'>Our journey in the sweet fields of osculation
stops here. As a conclusion to the
whole matter, let us say with the immortal
bard:</p>

<div class='lg-container-b'>
  <div class='linegroup'>
    <div class='group'>
      <div class='line'>Now let me say good-night, and so say you;</div>
      <div class='line'>If you will say so, you shall have a kiss.</div>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>

<div  class='figcenter id002'>
<img src='https://brian.carnell.com/wiki/_media/etext:w:will-rossiter-art-of-kissing-i4.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
</div>

<div class='pbb'>
 <hr class='pb c000' />
</div>

<div class='nf-center-c1'>
<div class='nf-center c001'>
    <div><span class='color_bb0000'><span class='xxlarge'>A Hundred Ways</span></span></div>
    <div><span class='color_bb0000'><span class='xxlarge'>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;of Kissing Girls;</span></span></div>
    <div class='c000'><span class='color_bb0000'>Or, HISTORY OF THE KISS.</span></div>
  </div>
</div>

<div  class='figcenter id003'>
<img src='https://brian.carnell.com/wiki/_media/etext:w:will-rossiter-art-of-kissing-i5.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
</div>

<p class='c008'><span class='color_bb0000'>When we write an
advertisement and
tell you we have something
extra good—<b>a
real LIVE novelty</b>—we
mean what we
say. The fact that
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the year around is
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This new book “A
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herewith give a <b>complete list</b> of the many titles into which
this subject has been divided: What to Expect; L’Envoi; History
of the Kiss; How to Kiss a Girl; Origin of the Kiss Under
the Mistletoe; Who Kissed First, Adam or Eve; They Kiss
Even in England; Revelations of a Newly Wed; A Kissing
Soup Party; Asking for a Kiss; How the Widow was Consoled;
Lackawanna Jack’s Ideal Kiss; Value of a Kiss; The Stage
Kiss; The Kiss Analyzed, by Ella Wheeler Wilcox; How Kisses
may be sent by mail; Way to Kiss a Girl; Kisses a la Gibson;
Kissing Games; Kisses that Brought Good and Bad Luck;
Mouth to Kiss; An Unwilling Kiss; Kissing Jokes; A Black
Kiss; Kisses Have Been Called; Kissing Don’ts; Kissing by Telephone;
Lip Culture; Kissing Trees; Evolution of Kissing, etc.</span></p>

<p class='c008'><span class='color_bb0000'><span class='xlarge'>☞</span> This book is fully illustrated with 16 handsome half-tone
reproductions from photographs taken from life, illustrating different
ways of kissing, and posed especially for this book. We
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<p class='c008'><span class='color_bb0000'><span class='large'><span class='under'><b>SPECIAL.</b></span></span> With every order is included a phototype of
THE GIRL WHO’S NEVER BEEN
KISSED—alone worth ten times the price of all.</span></p>

<div class='nf-center-c1'>
  <div class='nf-center'>
    <div><span class='color_bb0000'>ADDRESS ALL ORDERS TO</span></div>
    <div class='c000'><span class='color_bb0000'><span class='large'>J. S. OGILVIE PUBLISHING COMPANY.</span></span></div>
    <div><span class='color_bb0000'><span class='large'>P. O. Box 767.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;57 ROSE STREET, NEW YORK.</span></span></div>
  </div>
</div>

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