Stupid Is As Stupid Does

In the United States at the turn of the century, the 2nd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in New York upheld a lower court’s decision that the New London, Connecticut police department was within its rights to reject an applicant because of his performance on a written test. The twist was that the plaintiff was excluded from being a cop because he scored too high on the test, with an IQ equivalent of 125. The police department maintained that police officers they hired with high IQs tended to have a high turnover rate (the explanation was that they became bored with the job, although an alternative may be that they became disillusioned more quickly with the sad state of policing in America).

Presumably the police who threatened 13-year-old Danesiah Neal with arrest would have fit right in with New London’s vision of police competence. Danesiah brought a $2 bill with her to pay for her lunch. School officials thought the bill was fake, and so they called in the police. Unbelievably, the police also thought the bill was fake and accused Danesiah of trying to pass counterfeit money.

The officials asked [Danesiah’s grandmother], “‘Did you give Danesiah a $2 bill for lunch?’ He told me it was fake,” she said.

Then the Fort Bend ISD police investigated the $2 bill with the vigor of an episode of Dragnet, even though at that school 82-percent of kids are poor enough to get free or reduced price lunch.

The alleged theft of $2 worth of chicken tenders led a campus officer — average salary $45,000 a year — to the convenience store that gave grandma the $2 bill.

Next stop — and these are just the facts — the cop went to a bank to examine the bill.

Finally, the mystery was solved: The $2 bill wasn’t a fake at all. It was real.

The bill so old, dating back to 1953, the school’s counterfeit pen didn’t work on it.

“He brought me my two dollar bill back,” Joseph said. He didn’t apologize. He should have and the school should have because they pulled Danesiah out of lunch and she didn’t eat lunch that day because they took her money.”

Something similar happened in 2005 at a Best Buy in Baltimore County. Mike Bolesta attempted to use $2 bills to pay for some merchandise, which the store decided were counterfeit. They called the geniuses at the Baltimore County police who arrested Bolesta, and ultimately blamed 9/11 for their screwup (emphasis added),

Bolesta says the cashier marked each bill with a pen. Other store employees began to gather, a few of them asking, “Are these real?”

“Of course they are,” Bolesta said. “They’re legal tender.”

According to the Sun report, the police arrest report noted one employee noticed some smearing of ink on the bills. That’s when the cops were called. One officer reportedly noticed the bills ran in sequential order.

. . .

Bolesta was taken to the lockup, where he sat handcuffed to a pole and in leg irons while the Secret Service was called.

“At this point,” he says, “I’m a mass murderer.”

Secret Service agent Leigh Turner eventually arrived and declared the bills legitimate, adding, according to the police report, “Sometimes ink on money can smear.”

Commenting on the incident, Baltimore County police spokesman Bill Toohey told the Sun: “It’s a sign that we’re all a little nervous in the post-9/11 world.”

 

Stanislaus of Szczepanów / Saint Stanislaus the Martyr and Lawyer to the Dead

This is a cute trick (via Wikipedia)

Stanis?aw’s initial conflict with King Boles?aw was over a land dispute. The Bishop had purchased for the diocese a piece of land on the banks of the river near Lublin from a certain Peter (Piotr), but after Piotr’s death the land had been claimed by his family. The King ruled for the claimants, but – according to legend – Stanis?aw resurrected Piotr so that he could confirm that he had sold the land to the Bishop.

According to Augustin Calmet, an 18th-century Bible scholar, Stanis?aw asked the King for three days to produce his witness, Piotr. The King and court were said to have laughed at the absurd request, but the King granted Stanis?aw the three days. Stanis?aw spent them in ceaseless prayer, then, dressed in full bishop’s regalia, went with a procession to the cemetery where Piotr had been buried three years earlier. He had Piotr’s grave dug up until his remains were discovered. Then, before a multitude of witnesses, Stanis?aw bade Piotr rise, and Piotr did so.

Piotr was then dressed in a cloak and brought before King Boles?aw to testify on Stanis?aw’s behalf. The dumbfounded court heard Piotr reprimand his three sons and testify that Stanis?aw had indeed paid for the land. Unable to give any other verdict, the King dismissed the suit against the Bishop. Stanis?aw asked Piotr whether he would remain alive but Piotr declined, and so was laid to rest once more in his grave and was reburied.