Dealing with Car Break-Ins, MPAA Style

Harold Field had his car broken into during a vacation. He called the police and went through the normal routine of reporting a theft, but wrote an interesting article on how he might have handled things differently if he were the MPAA,

So if I were the MPAA, how would I handle this?

Berate the cop who answered my call for not stopping the crime before it happened. I would also go around to everyone in my neighborhood and accuse them of “supporting theft” from their failure to set up a neighborhood watch to protect my right to leave my iPod in the front seat of my car.

. . .

I would lobby the Montgomery County Council to place a 24/7 guard on my driveway so I can leave my iPod in the front seat. I would also insist on a video surveillance system and fingerprinting for anyone who comes with 500 feet of my car. Any neighbors who complain about what a waste of tax payer money this is, or that it invades their privacy, or that they don’t like giving fingerprints to police to protect my right to leave my iPod in the front seat “support theft” and deserve the smear treatment.

I would produce statistics that show that Montgomery County loses thousands of dollars and numerous jobs annually from iPod theft from my driveway. Anyone who questions the accuracy of these statistics “supports iPod theft.”

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